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Monday, July 18, 2011

#199 Is a Kitchen Accretion Disk

There’s a black hole hovering in my kitchen
It sounds crazy
But it’s true
About three feet off the floor
Big as a basketball
And looking right at you

It stands where my trash can once did
Rest in peace chrome trash can
I loved you for your art deco looks
But now you are crushed
In a small dense gravity well
The garbage inside you also mushed

I wish I’d had some instruments
Or some observation going on
Now I have only a theory
As to how it was born

The trash can
Was always overfilled
Such that the flipper door couldn’t shut again
Gaping with things hanging out
As an animal with it’s tongue after it was killed

Still the can wasn’t emptied
Trash was pushed in mercilessly
Compacted and stood upon
Though the can’s metal walls protested
Crinkling and groaning
Sometimes heard almost to be laughing
As someone approached with another thing
Giggling at the idea
Knowing you must be jesting

Until finally it had to have happened
Something snapped
Or contracted
Or popped
With that, the can and all it’s contents
Disappeared from this existence
Leaving this small rift in space
To mark it’s place

It’s kind of convenient now
I must admit
I just toss garbage anywhere near
And it gets sucked right in
I never have to empty it either
Although there are hazards involved
Yesterday I lost my second favorite hat
And the day before
It almost sucked in the cat

I’ll have to put up some signs
It will keep OSHA at bay
Something simple and clear
I think it will say:

“WARNING: Time and space compressing kitchen disposal.  Use with caution”

That should work.