Eyes half open
I survey the view
Nothing looks quite like it should
Everything is askew
But it's all ok
No need to feel dread
As soon as I wake up
I pad quietly from the bed
I chuckle to myself
As I make my morning rounds
A silly little saying
Runs through my head
Accompanied by strange sounds
"No wife, no horse, no mustache"
I can't begin to guess what it means
I didn't know when I first read it
And time hasn't made me any wiser
Especially at interpreting things it seems
Definitely have a wife
There she is sawing logs in the bed
Mostly covered with comforter
This woman that I wed
No horse, at least per se
I have a poodle
He's pretty big
As he ogles me from the foot of the bed
My mustache
Well, that finally came in
Took me into my twenties
But I finally grew more than wisps on my chin
So going by that silly saying
Perhaps I've arrived
Having wife, horse, and mustache
It wasn't easy but I survived
They need to extend that saying though
To include a multitude of kids
Enough stuff everywhere for my own episode of Hoarders
And in-laws living in my yard for the summer
And so it extends, into:
No wife, no horse, no mustache
No triple threat children
No epic consumer excess
No hobos in the yard
The thing of the original saying
I think was
That until you had those three things
You just hadn't arrived in life
Must have been a cowboy thing
I've arrived
Plus the kids
The stuff
And the in-laws in the yard
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