I want a sandwich that makes me happy
Bread that makes me smile
Cheese that melts in my mouth
Ingredients complex as they compile
But things didn’t turn out as I’d hoped
As the waitress brought my plate
I’d sipped my water patiently
Never minding that it was getting late
Looking down I peered at it tentatively
Picked it up and tested it’s weight
I tasted it carefully, and made a face
I dropped it to my plate
And searched for words for this situation
The sandwich was worse than second rate
This sandwich makes me angry
It’s filled with hate
The meat is rancid
The bread moldy
Vegetables fermented
Such sandwiches have started wars
Men have killed themselves
When confronted
With such monstrosity
This sandwich wants to eat New York
Use the Brooklyn Bridge as toothpicks
Lay waste to uptown
And lay down in downtown
This is one shit sandwich
Reeking of fecal matter
I’ll not take it anymore
I’m madder than a fucking hatter
I call the waitress over
And insist she take it back
I don’t care what they do with it
I’ll take none of her flak
The cook glares at me
When he sees the plate return
It’s a sandwich filled with fury
Things will never be the same
He charges me with his cleaver
Swinging in huge arcs
I meet him with my knives
Hovering in midair
Like the Matrix
We battle for what seems like hours
Sweat and blood mingling on the floor
Finally we both lose interest
There’s no fight in either of us anymore
The sandwich just isn’t worth it
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