The dead hooker in the cooler
Was beginning to smell
I couldn’t keep enough ice on her
And I was really going to catch hell
It wasn’t me
I swear
I’m just helping cover it up
I actually do care
The First Officer is to blame
He picked up a street girl in Hong Kong
And brought her out to the plane
They were screwing next to the stairs on the upper deck
And everything was fine until he came
When he did
He arched his back
Things went a little too deep
So she jumped back
Right down the damn stairs
That’s where she stayed
Until I got out there to prep the plane
I found her dead at the bottom of the steps
The First Officer passed out next to a vomit stain
Things got crazy after that
Lots of screaming
Some crying
Then some threats
The end result is what I’ve got here
A dead hooker in an ice cooler
And a sense of foreboding and fear
We were going to dump her in Sydney
But there were too many people around
Then again in Beijing
But the cops there had a bloodhound
It’s been four days now
And it’s really creeping me out
Every strange noise I hear
I’m certain it’s her trying to climb out
I think this is the place though
I forget even where we are
But the fog has rolled in
And with 1/2 mile visibility nobody can see far
It’s my job to take her out
Once we’re all loaded and everyone else is gone
Drag her downstairs
Into the lower forty one
I’ll pop open the external access hatch
One we are at the end of the runway
Sit tight there until we take flight
Then push her out once we are a few miles away
I’ll close up the hatch
And go up to my seat
All alone in the ride-on area
Everything will be fine, maybe
Life will go on
And we’ll all be a little wiser
Shit, I’ll bet they don’t even thank me
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