The internet be out
Truly a blow to the devout
Eating chicken while using Yahoo
Googling strange remedies for the gout
What is a poor pirate to do
With no access to his booty so fine
Nary a pron site to be seen
Nothing worthwhile offline
Under the desk
Is my old Shoot the Moon
I pull it out
But it gets lame all too soon
I hit the refresh button
But nothing reloads
Just some stupid Firefox message
“Oops, page cannot load”
I pace in a circle
I focus my one good eye
And try to transmit all my rage
But the computer stays unconnected
Enough to make a pirate cry
I call up my ISP
And push all the buttons I’m told
I finally hear it ringing
Only to be put on hold
I crush the phone
Beneath the point of my hook
I adjust my eye patch
And go topside for a look
Maybe ye olde antennae is down
That must be it
If one of those boys in the rigging did it
He’ll hang from my gibbet
But everything is fine
The aerial stands straight and tall
There to receive the internets
If only it would call
Soon I’m fit to be tied
Walking around is overrated
I head to the galley
To eat until I’m sated
I’m almost there
When I hear a faint whisper
It was the first mate
“I just got an email from me sister”
That can only mean one thing
I spin upon my peg
And go limping to my cabin
There be internet! I think
Don’t make me beg
I press my home key
And the screen does change
It goes to Funny Or Die
And soon I’m laughing
And spilling my grog
At the videos that I see
A pirate ship
Without the internet
Is just not a place
I’d want to be
No comments:
Post a Comment