#242 Stupid List

What I wish I knew

when I was young

Could fill reams

Before I was done

The belly button

Is not a place for change

Or toys

Or any other objects

That is what pockets are for

Women

Are for kissing and cuddling

Pitching the woo

Is a manly thing

Quit wasting time on thy car

Get out of the basement

Drinking with a couple friends is great

But retreating to the basement every night

Is not

That's why your father

Thought you were gay for years

When in fact

You were just an alcoholic

Doing things for people

Is a wonderful thing

But allowing them to use you

In the hopes that they will see

How much you love them

Is not going to end well

Your father was right

Almost 75% of the time

Seriously

A car

Really is

Just for getting from A to B

It's not a fashion statement

It's not who you are

It's just a car

Use it

Maintain it

But don't obsess over it

Getting a Harley Davidson

Does not make your penis bigger

Or make you more attractive

Loud pipes do not save lives

They just piss everyone else off

While you are in your little Harley bubble

Thinking about how awesome

Everyone else must think you are

Food

Is not comfort

Or happiness

Or love

It's just fuel stupid

All those opportunities

That you are too lazy and selfish

To give a shit about now

Will haunt you forever

So many silly things

And many many more

That I'd wished I'd have known

Before I was too old

To do anything about it anymore