#243 Speech! Speech!

I cannot think of what to say

It's as if all the words have left me

Left speechless for much of the day

Mouth hanging open for all to see

It's important that I get it out

I wrote a speech and everything

I tense turn red and try to shout

But nothing at all squeaks out

This is all in my head

I tell myself bravely

Even as I feel the heat of a thousand stares

Every one of them leering and beastly

I'm furniture

I'm invisible

Chairs don't talk

So nor do I

I couldn't even walk

The moment has come

For the very first time

I squint into the spotlight

And try to read the line

I'm in a safe place

With my closest friends

They will not judge me

I will not need to make amends

Then the words flow freely

Tumbling from my lips

Pronounced just so

My fear becoming eclipsed

The timing is working

Just how I'd rehearsed

In front of my mirror

Plunging on headfirst

Almost at the end

I make my final point

And end it all on a light note

And the audience chuckles with mirth

I wipe the sweat from my brow

And gently clear my throat

I open my eyes and peek around the curtain

At the audience waiting to hear what I'd wrote

This won't be so bad

I refuse to despair

After all

Every singe one of them is in their underwear

#242 Stupid List

What I wish I knew

when I was young

Could fill reams

Before I was done

The belly button

Is not a place for change

Or toys

Or any other objects

That is what pockets are for

Women

Are for kissing and cuddling

Pitching the woo

Is a manly thing

Quit wasting time on thy car

Get out of the basement

Drinking with a couple friends is great

But retreating to the basement every night

Is not

That's why your father

Thought you were gay for years

When in fact

You were just an alcoholic

Doing things for people

Is a wonderful thing

But allowing them to use you

In the hopes that they will see

How much you love them

Is not going to end well

Your father was right

Almost 75% of the time

Seriously

A car

Really is

Just for getting from A to B

It's not a fashion statement

It's not who you are

It's just a car

Use it

Maintain it

But don't obsess over it

Getting a Harley Davidson

Does not make your penis bigger

Or make you more attractive

Loud pipes do not save lives

They just piss everyone else off

While you are in your little Harley bubble

Thinking about how awesome

Everyone else must think you are

Food

Is not comfort

Or happiness

Or love

It's just fuel stupid

All those opportunities

That you are too lazy and selfish

To give a shit about now

Will haunt you forever

So many silly things

And many many more

That I'd wished I'd have known

Before I was too old

To do anything about it anymore

#241 C? This is getting old already

Citting on my civet

Having a cerulean cry

Clinging to crushed curtains

Always wondering why

The first cut is always the deepest

Is it just a saying?

I've cut deep

I've cut shallow

It's called cut control

The civet is getting restless

So I feed him some more C-ration

And read aloud more C.S. Lewis

For the civet to practice his dictation

Bored after that

I flip on the cable

The civet and I search for claymation

Finding a lovely story of a babe in a cradle

Although the civet cannot fool me

He licks his lips

And imagine a meal of that baby

I can only imagine that quip

"Excuse me, but a civet ate your baby"

Is that right?

I might be remembering it wrong

I used to watch that show

But it's been so damn long

A show about nothing

Much like this poem

Much ado about something

Mostly a bunch of hokum

#240 Good Grief, It's B

B

Is the bone the resides inside

It connects and binds

It props and guides

Directs things where they should go

Makes of me the form

That I always know

When I look in the mirror

Mirror, Mirror, upon the wall

Why is it, that I do fall?

Below

Is the answer

Below you, is only air

While you need it to live

You do tend to pass right through it

Much like a sieve for the flour

Good grief, look at the hour!

BONG!  BONG!  BONG!

Three o'clock

It's time to rock!

I'm late for my date

And the hate will not abate

Until I state my fate to Kate!

Dear Kate:

Believe me when I tell you

Beyond my control events have gone

Boned I was by the situation

Below find enclosed the cause of my tardiness

Bong, yes, it's a bong

I would have been on time

But I got high

#239 Gimme an A!

A

A is for the angel

That I just know is on your shoulder

For with the choices you make

It must take an angel to guard you

A is for the aftereffects

The carnage that you leave behind you

As you rumble through life

With no thoughts of others in you

A is for astronomical

The budget that you seem to have

When you go on your drunken spending sprees

Bringing your credit cards to their knees

A is also for anal

The way you organize things

And yell at me for moving them

So much as an inch from their appointed position

A is for anal again

For the way I'd like to fuck you

When you treat me like that

Making me feel like shit through and through

A is for agonizing

As I watch you get ready for work

Stopping every three seconds to arrange something

But I digress, as that's just anal, again

A is for apologize

It's what I do after I write an angry poem such as this

Even though I mean it at the time

And wish to give the finger to you

A is for argonaut

To sail with Jason

Off into adventures

In Greek mythology

A is for aeon

The length of time I want to spend with you

Whether you take it to mean for life

Or forever in eternity

A is now for arf

The noise my dog is making

Telling me he wants to go out

So I bid you adieu

As I have to go too!

#238 Sturgeon Suprise Cake

Desperately seeking

Sturgeon at Sturgeon Point

I ponder the shoreline

Remembering past times

Of sturgeon piled high

Like cordwood

Thousands at a time

It's hard to fathom

But it's true

There must be some left

I mutter to myself

As I gather my supplies

And prepare my surprise

I have cheeseburgers and fries

Garden muck and dead flies

Seeds, indian beads, and dried reeds

Whipped cream, sour cream, and hot steam

I'm making a cake

A sturgeon surprise cake

All the things that a sturgeon must love

All in one sparkling cake

I labor all day

At my oven made of clay

Raising my cakely layers

Frosting it all my way

During different parts

Of assembling my recipe

I've attracted all manner of creatures

Crayfish and snails have come to see

Gulls and cormorants tried to scavenge

Flies, mosquitoes, and beetles

Perch, smelt, and salmon

They've all come to investigate

The unusual sights and smells

My sturgeon surprise cake now done

I kindle a fire in the setting sun

I lay the cake upon the shore

And settle in to wait an hour or more

This king of fish must know I'm here

He must know this is for him

Unless there are none left

Leaving this area ironically named

Yet bereft

I pass the time reading a book

And shooing away other critters

Starting to lose hope

Eyes feeling heavy and worse

With the moon high in the sky

The waves only a gentle lapping

Suddenly an ancient armored head breaks the water

Old eyes beholding me napping

When I awake

Nowhere to be found is my cake

In it's place is an old shell

A gift from Mishe-Nahme

Who knows to give

Every time he does take

#237 Is Both Loved and hated

I love to hate her

With her cruel ruby lips

Curled into a smile

Evil intentions

That I can see for a mile

Her fingers

So slender and strong

She inflicts her will

All night long

Her teeth

Bright white and clean

Sharp as knives

And as attractive as I've seen

Her voice

A siren's song

When she is whispering

Telling me to do something oh so wrong

I can't get her out of my head

Her presence is burned upon my brain

To be away from her

Causes unbearable pain

I can feel her when she is near

Her heat is like a furnace

My desire for her all too clear

Evidenced by my manhood's firmness

She invites me to play

Brown sparkling eyes daring me

She teases her bodice loose

Making me almost beg to see

Shaking her head

She grabs my hand

Her grip like iron

Her skin as hot as a brand

Putting my hand to her breast

She kisses my lips

Then biting them

She slams into me with her hips

I know I'm lost now

She consumes me

My lust for her

Both excites and betrays me

I become an animal for her

Bent to her will

Performing as she wishes

Just another cock for her manhood mill

As I lose myself to her act of frenzy

Plunging into her molten pool of ecstasy

My last coherent thought occurs to me

Oh, how I hate to love her

#236 Is Wrapped Up in the Heather

I’m covered in Heather

I’m at a loss to explain why

It happened one Christmas Day

And it hasn’t gone away

I’d say I was unhappy about it

But I’d be lying to you

This Heather is beautiful and bold

Much a joy through and through

I’ll start with the smell

Light and pleasant inspiring trust

It arouses happiness

With more than a hint of lust

A joy to the eye

I could look at it all day

Often Heather looks back

As if to say

“Hello, my name is Heather”

So happy with this Heather

I let it grow all over me

Till I was wrapped up in it

And could scarcely see

I went to the barber

And they looked at me quite strange

Advising me to see an arborist

Who keeps his home on the range

The arborist saw me right away

And looked me up and down

Surprise in his eyes, he did say,

“What an exquisite specimen of Ericaceae

You are so lucky to have this Heather attached to you

I’ll see what I can do.”

He didn’t cut

He thought that would be too much

With skilled hands he arranged

And tied, until he was quite pleased

Standing back

He gave it a final tease

I looked in the mirror

And was happy as can be

This particular Heather

Was completely suited to me!

I loved this Heather

I’ll not make it a secret

I paraded around with pride

Very determined to keep it

Soon I had admirers

And some asked to join us

A small duckling and frog

Had stars in their eyes

When they beheld us

I thought they were adorable

And helped them on up

They nestled on my shoulders

Deep in the Heather

Which was happy to have them

Cooing and curling around them

Not long after

I small turtle happened by

It was precious and green

The cutest chubby turtle I’d ever seen

It joined our group

And has stayed to this day

No matter what happens

We know it will be okay

Our little family is happy

The duckling, frog and turtle

Still cuddled in the Heather

Grown snug around me

All a part of me

We go through life together

Come what may

Full of love and cuddled forever

#235 Thirst of the Prairie Dog

The truck

Was stuck

Deep in the muck

But that cowboy

Just didn’t give a fuck

He was kicked back

In the bed

Strumming his guitar

And singing

Songs that a prairie dog

Could howl to

We stand up

One at a time

Amused by his singing

Horrified by his rhymes

And wondering

How much beer

He has with him

Our prairie dog clan

Numbered two and twenty

Have acquired a taste for the brew

Thanks to a careless delivery driver or two

They leave their trucks idling

As they talk on their phone

We sneak up and open the door

And take what we can carry

Patiently we wait

Popping up to check on things

One by one

Until sure enough

The cowboy passed out

Moving as one group

We move in to his truck

Stepping lightly in the muck

To steal all the beer

That we can carry

#234 Droid for Sale

I am increasingly annoyed

With my droid

He's loud and he beeps

He smells bad while he sleeps

He can't do two things at a time

When he tries he freezes

And emits a high pitched whine

He leaves tracks and debris

All over the house

He is worse than a mouse

I threw a wrench at him

In frustration the other day

He just turned his cold dead eyes to me

Gave me the droid finger

And rumbled away

I've had it

He's for sale

I've hung a sign on him

And put him in the front yard

Chained to a rail

At only 500 Imperial Credits

He's actually quite a steal

The salesman in me urges

That is hardly the cost of a fancy meal

But I have misgivings deep down inside

Because although he's technically

As good as a new one from the droid store

He's a pain in the ass

And if I had to answer honestly when asked

I'd have to admit:

This is NOT

The droid you are looking for

#233 BOOM

I’m a high-wire act

In a low brow town

They all want me to fall

But all I can do is drown

The levy it broke

Water came rushing in

Making a lake of this town

With only the church steeple marking our sin

It was our fault

My little group and I

We were playing with fire

I can’t even remember why

A bonfire pyre

As tall as city hall

Soaked in kerosene

Lit off and the fire was like a wall

Heat blistered our skin

All my hair burned off

We ran for our lives

And that’s when the propane lit off

Storage tanks not 50 yards away

Blame the liquor or our stupidity

It’s the same result either way

The explosion leveled half the city

Knocked out by the concussion

I came to breathing water

I sat up sputtering

Deaf and half drowned as it were

Blood running from my ears and nose

I stared incredulously at the water all around

I had been one of the lucky ones

I’d been taken out on the high ground

The hill in the park

Became my island in the storm

A few others struggled in

We huddled to keep warm

The bonfire long extinguished

The propane farm a deep black bole

The levy ripped open just beyond

Displaying a 100 yard hole

I looked around

Nothing making a sound

Not the rushing water

Not the animals

Nor the people and their screams

I hung my head and wept

At the terrible spectacle of the scene

I waded out and started swimming

Looking to help and make good

Not knowing if I could

Certain though, that I should

#232 Inkstained

Ink is permanent

Like written in stone

Meaningful as a kiss

Real as blood and bone

Ink is transparent

Seeing through your lies

Brought forth with lemon juice

Tears running after getting it in your eyes

Ink is a blot

Dripped from a fountain pen

Folded in half it’s a Rorschach

To drive you mad now and again

Ink is in you

A dragon koi upon your back

Inserted just below the skin

A mindblowingly colorful attack

Ink is dark

By it’s very nature

Marking what it touches

Holding it in rapture

Ink fades

Old words upon a page

Harder to read with age

No matter how you rage

Ink runs

Sometimes it's hard to write

Even harder to read

When the page has become a smear

And you struggle to go on

Through the rain of your tears

#231 The Wheel of Death

I had lemon chicken for lunch today

With rice and peas

A small bag of chips for snack

And an apple

To keep the doctor away

But I forgot it at home

So I have to take a chance

And shell out some dollar bills

To spin the wheel of death

I feed my dollars into the machine

One wouldn’t go

So I smooth it out and try again

On the third try it takes it

I push the button

The machine spins slowly

With a buzzing noise

And a click

Whenever the food lines up with the door

I find a frozen burrito

How bad could it be?

Beans, meat paste, and a tortilla

I might even have some cheese upstairs

I open the door

And select my doom

I hold it close

And take it to my room

Heated up so nicely

It went down pretty good

With a side of cheese

And a glass of water

The wheel of death will have it’s due

And later in the night

I had to spend a lot of quality time

Sitting in the bathroom

Staring at the same graffiti

"Your mom has a penis!"

About six times over

All for a moment of forgetfulness

And a likely looking frozen burrito

#230 Is the Plane Game

The sun is setting

The towering clouds in the west

Are on fire from within

Glowing orangely

Three airplanes

High above those clouds

Make their way in three different directions

Their contrails streaming behind them

Like white fire in the setting sunlight

And just like most other times I see such things

I think of her

And the little game she taught me

Those long years ago

She led me outside

Behind her house

To the train tracks

Brown and rusty on the sides

Weeds growing up through the white gravel

The black tarred wooden ties

Almost hidden in some places

We sat down on the seldom used rails

And had a cigarette

Discussing things that seemed deep at the time

Looking up

She noticed an airplane going by

A jetliner

So high the body was just a dot

With a white string of a contrail in it's wake

Making it’s slow way across our sky that day

She asked me where I thought it was going

And I thought literally

Trying to figure out what direction it was going

But she stopped me

Not like that

She said

Where do you wish it was going

Wish that you were on it

And why

I had to think

And I don’t remember what I said

Then she said where she’d wish it was going

How she’d wish she were on it

And why

But I don’t remember what she said either

The important thing is

That I still look up

I still see the airplanes going by

And I play the little game in my head

Thinking of her

The taste of our cheap cigarettes

How hard the steel rail was on my butt

And I tell myself where I wish the plane was going

And wish I was on it

And why