The Drain Hair Cometh

The hot rivulets of water streamed down my chubby body
I folded my arms flat across my chest
Leaving a 'basket' area in the middle
Water collects there
About two cupfuls worth
It starts to overflow

That's when I release my arms suddenly
Making a loud splash! on the bottom of the tub
I do this several times for my own amusement

Just getting wet
And making a splash
It's my grown up way of playing in the tub

But then I notice the water collecting in the tub
It's up over my feet now
I kick my foot a little moving it around idly

I check the drain
And it's open
The water shouldn't be collecting

Looking at the drain
I can see my wife's hair collected over the chrome strainer
Slowing the release of the water
Making a mini pond in my shower

I pluck it off with my fingers
A small hairball creature clinging wetly to my fingers
But that's not all it seems

There is a slender tendril leading down through the drain
So I pull it up
Collecting the hair in my left hand
Pulling with my right

And it keeps coming

My wife's brown hair coming up in a continuous clump
Seemingly more hair than she could possibly have on her head

Then it changes color mid clumpy strand
To blonde

Now this hair color isn't from anyone in the family
And I'm grossed out now
This is someone else's hair
But it just keeps coming
Clump after clump after clump
All held together by tendrils of long hair

Now strawberry red comes up
Making a mishmash of colors in my overflowing paw
Brown blonde and red mixing into a kid's crayon conglomeration of color

I keep pulling
And just give up trying to hold it in my hand
Simply piling it up on the floor of the tub all around me

Black hair
With some white streaks comes up
Reminding me of my father's hair
All clumpy and grumpy piled inside the bath

Then a Brillo pad comes up

No
That's pubic hair
Eeeeewwww!

But I tough it out and keep pulling
Though all the hair is now filling the entire tub
Making it look as though I'm crouched in a sea of wet hair

I can't stop pulling now even if I wanted to
I'm a man possessed
The hair pile keeps growing
Surrounding me
Filling the entire bathroom
Until I cannot see the lights anymore
From under the false eclipse of hair

I can't move now
But it's taken on a life of it's own
Writhing around me
Pulling itself out of the drain
Never stopping
Making me feel like I'm smothering

I try to cry out for help
But I can't catch a breath
The hair keeps coming
And it knows that it has won