Naughty Naked Roomba

The Roomba chugged around the room
Picking up everything it could
Dog hair, dust bunnies
Specks of grass and bits of wood

I pondered its activity
Through beer goggle eyes
And though the little Roomba grew sexier
There was still something off besides its small size

That was a question for a more sober me
As to how so much junk could fit in its trunk
How it could whirl around all day
Doing nothing but sucking up funk

No
Today right now this second
The thing that concerned me
Was the fact that it was just so naked
And it didn't even care that I could see

Weren't these supposed to be our robot overlords?
Come to rule us with iron hands?
In my humble opinion
Before they do they should put on pants

It's not that the sight of spigots or sockets offend me
It just a respect thing is all
If I'm going to bend my knee to a superior race
Is it too much to ask that they wear pants while engineering our downfall?

It all made sense at the time
Or it may have been the beer and box of wine
But the next thing I knew I was rummaging in the dog box
Finding cute little canine Halloween costumes
And thinking I could somehow make them work
Without making that Roomba look like too much of a dork

How about this pumpkin....
No, too predictable for me
Maybe this little red crab costume
Oh yes! I almost forgot
When you squeeze the little claw it sings Under the Sea!

Stumbling after the racing Roomba
I caught up to it near the stairs
I kept a close eye on the cornered beastie
Just in case he tried to attack me unaware

In the end the Roomba put up little fight
As I snip snipped here and there
Adding little strips of duct tape to make it fit right
Satisfied I retired back to the drink next to my chair

I can only guess that the Roomba didn't like it very much though
Because when I woke up this morning
Passed out in the middle if my floor like I was dead
It was to the constant banging
Of a little red crab Roomba bouncing off my forehead