Once a Month

Let us retire to the bleeding room
Where the menses flow
Awash in a crimson glow
So much better than the men's room gloom

Amidst hanging red velvet curtains
We women can share our burden
Of virility and fertility
At least once a month for certain

In these Victorian times
In these southern hot climes
It's hot as hades in here
Let's all disrobe

Now nude and all sweaty
Wearing nothing but blood diapers
Our maid servants stand at the ready
To calm our blood sweats
And hold our frail frames rock steady

Won't you knit with me dear?
Here have some red woolen yarn
Oh my didn't you hear?
It's our team colors so to speak
Chosen with care by my husband Lord Beak

Of course that isn't his name
But I call him that just the same
For his nose could poke an eye out it's true
But wait this isn't news to you
I've seen you leaving his chambers at night

Hush hush my dear
There is no need to fear
Us women are more practical than that
To be honest I'd be more jealous if you wore my favorite hat

Lord Beak is all but used up and past his prime
You are welcome to his attention
As long as you don't mention
That I've moved on to my favorite footman

Now hold my hand darling
While we tell each other lies and bleed