A Parable of Not

First came the recognition
That the scaly hide beneath me was real
That it breathed
That it ate
That it shit
That it could bleed

Then did my eyes go outwards
Beholding the void
The emptiness all around
A depth so deep it warped my mind
Until I focused again upon what was in front of me
The Great Gilly Dragon to which I clung
As it was the only thing that was real

The monster tried to shake me off
Scraping agains unseen obstacles
Which I barely dodged
Some of which left their mark upon my flesh
Digging my fingers into it's hide
My toes gripping scale edges
My teeth bearing down upon what they could bite

And still the leathery lizard pursued it's path
Onward in the blackness
Always trying to shuck it's burden
Me

Growing inventive in seeking my release
It swung long Gilly Dragon claws at me
Scratching at it's small parasite
And not as nimble anymore
It took chunks of flesh from me
It's tail whipping forward
Skewering me in place
Ripping out my heart
And all the love in the world

The hole in my chest sucked at the air
But still I clung to the beast

It cried out to me
"Why do you cling to me with such tenacity?
I've eaten your heart
You should not wish to go on"

Air sucks in through my mouth
And through my chest
As I yell back at it
"I will never let go
Though I feel hollow inside
There is nothing beyond you to go to"

Onward in the dark we plunge
The Great Gilly Dragon and I
It's parasitic camper
Towards some unknown destination

In the dark it wrenched it's head around to behold me
Biting at my hands and feet
Tearing all the fingers from my left hand
Leaving me with no feet at the ends of my legs

"Let go little man!
I've taken almost everything from you
Why would you wish to stay??"

Great Gilly Dragon eyes beheld me
As I groaned my reply

"I will not let go
As long as there is strength within me
You are my world
All else is nothing"

Stooping into a dive
The Great Gilly Dragon extended it's body
Long and straight

My remaining hand screamed at the effort to hold onto the scales it gripped

Holding on

Holding on

Until I couldn't

And letting go at last
Floating free of the beast
Now finally before me in all it's glory
Even as it thundered away from me

The Great Gilly Dragon left me behind
Seemingly hovering in the blankness

Until I was NOT