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Sunday, September 16, 2012

A Tired Commercial Trope

Steve was driving the tug too fast
I could hear him coming before I saw him
The ultra low gearing making the engine scream at high rpm
Even though he was only going 20 mph

But that was far too fast for the airport ramp
Not to mention the sad state of that tug's brakes

I turned in time to see the nose of the tug dip sharply
As Steve slammed on the brakes
Jumping to the side to avoid scary Steve and his tug
I heard the front bumper hit something as it finally stopped
Just short of the aicraft landing gear

Scrambling to my feet
I could see the tire we had just changed
It was fifty yards away already
And rolling fast

So that's what Steve ran into

Running to the passenger side of the tug
I jumped into the seat
"Go you maniac!  We have to get that thing!"

Steve turned the wheel hard and squealed away from our area
Into the darkness
Into which the tire had already disappeared

Across two empty aicraft parking areas we went
At our max speed
Which didn't even come close to breaking any records

At the third spot we saw two mechanics
They were righting a tipped over toolbox
With a huge dent in it's back

"Did you see a tire come through?"
We yelled over the engine noise

They swore at us and pointed down the ramp
So we kept going
Through the dark airport maintenance area
Into the cargo loading spaces
Floodlights shining down on us

A jumble of boxes loomed large in view
Workers collecting their scattered collection
In military unison
Brown uniforms in precise motion

Two of the boxes were smashed flat
The remains of Hummel figurines on the concrete around them

All the brown uniforms heard us
And stood as one
As if to ward off another attack

"Did you see..."
We began
But before we finished
Five left arms raised together
Wordlessly pointing South
Down the ramp access road
Towards the dark perimeter

We sped off again
Desperate to catch up with our lost tire
Sending scree flying as we left the paved area
Onto the gravel two track that circled the airport
Just inside the fenceline

There were tell tale tracks in the dusty ground
Wherever the gravel was washed away
An aircraft tire pattern in the dirt
Four long bands of ribbed tread mark
Still heading South

Finally the fence and the road turned right
But the tire had obviously not
At the corner the treadmarks went straight
Straight into the fence
Straight through the fence

Steve slammed on the brakes
Sending dust whirling around us
We both jumped out and headed to the hole in the fence
Peering through it like inmates pondering escape
We made up our minds and jumped through

Clambering down the rocky ridge at that end of the airport
Music could be heard on the beach below
Firelight threw a glow through the narrow band of trees and scrub at the bottom
I looked at Steve and muttered something about liability

Steve flipped me off

Crashing though the trees to the beach
We stopped and stared

There was the tire
Lying on it's side
In front of a bonfire
At the end of it's roll
It's four ribbed tracks showing it's passage

There were two women sitting on it
Warming themselves and holding beers
Two men on the other side of the fire
Both playing guitars and singing

Looking up and down the beach there were other fires
Though none of them had tires
Each with a few people at them

One of the girls turned and saw us
"Oh hey, is this yours?
Cmon over and have a beer with us"

I looked at Steve
Steve looked at me

Suddenly this had turned into a strange beer commercial
And I had no idea how

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