This is Public Safety 1.1, here to answer your questions
In the event of an event
Of maximum magnitude
You will be asked to comply
We will not tolerate any attitude
"What if there is a flood?"
You will be asked to get out
Probably into a boat
From your second story window (no need to shout!)
That water's chilly, don't forget your coat!
"I'm worried about tornadoes"
To avoid a tornado is simple you see
You just have be where the tornado is not
Or get in your basement (I can provide one for a fee)
And hide under a cot.
"What about a tsunami?"
I don't understand what you are saying
Please speak English, I'm a simple man
What's that? It's a huge wave?
Well, moving to Denver would be a plan.
"I'm super worried about radiation from a nuclear accident"
Now I'm glad you asked about that one
Nuclear energy is our friend
But when something happens
I have you covered, I guarantee
You see, for a small fee:
I'm selling these lead suits on Etsy for cheap
They'll help, I swear
You'll be sporting them without a care.
A built in geiger counter
And room for a diaper to wear
You can wear it for weeks at a time
To not, my friends, would be a crime
Now that's all the time I have for today
So drop us a line
And you'll hear us say....
"This is Public Safety 1.1, here to answer your questions!"
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