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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

#74 Needs a Lumberjack

My tree is too tall
It obstructs my view!
I really don't want it there at all
I used a mule, and then two
But it won't budge a meter
*
So I hired a beaver
He was quite a believer
He took off his coat and flexed
He figured he'd make short work of it
Being a wood chomper and all
*
He got right to work
And it looked promising
Woodchips flew across the range
Until about lunchtime
That's when things got strange
*
Beaver went to bite
And it just wasn't right
The target couldn't be found
His aim seemed to be off
Then he fell on the ground
*
I went over, almost out of my mind
Wondering what I'd find
But he really stunk
I took one smell of him
And found he was drunk
*
I know it sounds demented
But the tree had fermented
To defeat my beaver-y plan
But I wasn't done yet
I brought over my van
*
I wrapped the chain so carefully
So I was sure it would work
Three times around the tree
I put my jacket on a stump
Then turned, and couldn't believe what I could see
*
The tree had grown 20 feet
My van was now an ornament
Hanging like a necklace and looking queer
I was defeated, and vanless
I sat down, and had a beer.
*
I'll get used to it I guess
Being a little taller, the lake is easier to see
Wish I hadn't made such a mess
But then I had a thought
Wonder where I could find some TNT.....

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