Bless me father for I have sinned
Haven’t we all
And hasn’t it been a ball?
What else would I have done with my time
It’s been about 24 years since my last confession
Wow, that’s a long time
You must have a long list
But I’ve got awhile till I have to go
I’ve developed this bad habit
Oh god, here we go
It’s either going to be something totally banal
Or something so sick
I’ll have nightmares for a week
Of chewing my nails
Oh, say, that’s not so bad
Maybe I can sneak a quick look at my cell phone
Pass the time a little better
It cuts up my mouth real bad you see
Wait, what?
What the hell is he talking about
My nails never do that
I mean did that, I don’t chew my nails I swear
And then when I swallow them, I have to go the hospital to get them out
Ok, see what I mean?
Nightmares for a week of this one
I should hang out a sign
“No freaks please”
What should I do father?
One Rosary
And two acts of contrition my son
Ominous, Dominous
Let me the heck out of here
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