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Monday, May 2, 2011

#122 Hears Confession


Bless me father for I have sinned

Haven’t we all
And hasn’t it been a ball?
What else would I have done with my time

It’s been about 24 years since my last confession

Wow, that’s a long time
You must have a long list
But I’ve got awhile till I have to go

I’ve developed this bad habit

Oh god, here we go
It’s either going to be something totally banal
Or something so sick
I’ll have nightmares for a week

Of chewing my nails

Oh, say, that’s not so bad
Maybe I can sneak a quick look at my cell phone
Pass the time a little better

It cuts up my mouth real bad you see

Wait, what?
What the hell is he talking about
My nails never do that
I mean did that, I don’t chew my nails I swear

And then when I swallow them, I have to go the hospital to get them out

Ok, see what I mean?
Nightmares for a week of this one
I should hang out a sign
“No freaks please”

What should I do father?

One Rosary
And two acts of contrition my son
Ominous, Dominous
Let me the heck out of here

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