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Saturday, February 2, 2013

Caturday Baturday Squirrel Smother Saturday

Today is Caturday
A Saturday turned feline
Full of prancing dancing fluffy cats
And Grumpy Cats sublime

My cat wasn't a Caturday cat
He was more practical than videos and GIFs
His cow kitty persona was better served eating rabbits and bats
Sometimes leaving saidsuch on the porch as gifts

Funny I should mention bats
As today is Baturday as well
Apparently bats are all the rage
Google Plussers think they're pretty swell

Bats aren't my favorite
Though they haven't harmed me it's true
One invaded my bedroom once
Trapping my wife in the closet for hours
Until I belatedly rescued her
With butterfly net and tupperware dish
Which was utterly brave and debonair
What with my vaunted fearless flair
You'd have thought my reward would be whatever I wish
When in fact all I got was

"Jesus Christ!
Couldn't you hear me in that closet?
I was in there for hours
I screamed and banged on the wall
I'm going to smother you in your sleep....."

Luckily for me
Today is also Squirrel Saturday
So I can drown out my fear of descending pillows
With images of baby squirrels at play

This I'll do after I leave you with some advice
Always listen for sounds of danger around the house
All the better to more quicker rescue the Wife