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Copyright: Fred Robel, and Fritz365 2010-2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Fred Robel and Fritz365 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Keep Off The Railing Please

Your puny yellow safety rails cannot keep ME safe!
I'll hulk my way through them in a flash
Vault over them like an olympian
Slither through those gaps like a ninja

OSHA may approve
But you can't save the outrageously unsafe
From you
From itself
From anything at all

With a mighty "Hey, watch this!"
I'll balance on that top rail
Painted so bright yellow and shiny
Maybe dance a little bit
Till I do the splits
Bringing all my weight down on my balls and hiny

Making me an internet superstar
Which hopefully pays pretty well
As I'll lose my job after it's posted
Preserved forever in archived electrons
Upon whatever site that it is hosted

What a rich man I'll be
When I go down to the currency exchange
With my two million YouTube views in hand
Ready to swap them for dollars
And give my finger to the man

But lets rewind a bit shall we?
And show what should have been done
In order to keep both our balls in working order

A sign should be placed just so
Showing a stick figure getting racked up in the junk
Bolts of cartoon pain emanating forth
Soiling himself with bloody spermless spunk

Not enough you say?
Well have I got a deal for you!
I'll electrify that yellow protective railing
Thus keeping unruly "Look at me!" workers where they belong
Just like a herd of cows on a farm
Though the cows are often smarter
A few gigawatts or three
Should do the job quite nicely

All the workers in a line
Filing slowly to their job
No excessive horseplay on the equipment
And certainly no imaginary exchange of internet fame for money