Free Online Dating

I'm awkward around girls

I can admit that

This is the 2010's now

And being a nerd is quite hip

When it comes to meeting chicks

In this tiny village I call a hometown

Tech savvy potential mates are one in a million

And what with a population of only 1200

The probability only goes down

Google being my friend

Showing me the world I know

With but a keystroke or two

Is naturally the first place I go

First I tried "Online Dating"

Which got me all the regular sites

A Wikipedia entry which was most informative

Followed closely by 

Ok Cupid

Plenty of Fish

And the old standby of eHarmony

One thing was a constant though

I could browse lightly all that I wanted

But to get to the gist of a girl

A credit card was required

Of those I tend to have plenty

One of my own

And an extra list of about twenty

From a Russian database that I hacked

But I'm cheap

Even when it's someone else's money

So I added "Free" to my query

And as soon as I went to them

I was blown away by what I saw

There were the usual suspects

Some widows and divorcees wearing only a bra

But thrown in to the mix

Were some true beauties

Looks that I couldn't scarcely believe

Which made me suspicious
Being burned so many times
Makes me harder to deceive

I texted a couple of the best looking ones

Who specifically stated clearly

That they were looking for 'The One'

I assumed that meant a magnificent self made man like me

Soon the replies came

First tentative

In broken English

Which broke out into long cut and paste paragraphs

At least I assume nobody can type that fast

Saying pretty much the same thing:

"I'm a beautiful girls looking for your sex

Before I can meet you I have to set some things out

I hope it does not deter you

But my father was a millionaire

And I have some strange inheritance clauses

Before I can get the money

I have to marry and take care of certain things

If you could help appreciated it would be"

It seems that you get what you pay for
When trolling for women in the 411 area