Big Water

BIG WATER
The sign to the rental cottages said
Promising sun, surf, sand
As well as a soft clean bed

I was skeptical it's true
Investigate the claims I did
While the clean bed is debatable
The big water is just as they said

Standing upon the coarse tan sand
Which trailed off into surf softened stones
Of every size shape and hue
The surf pounded a rhythm I felt in my bones

I was not deterred by this
Hitching up my horribly ugly floral patterned shorts
I waded on into the white foamed water
Only to get pounded back down to the rounded stones
Which were not as soft as their appearance would bely
Quickly pulling back up those same ugly floral patterned shorts
Which had been yanked by the water down to my thigh

This required some more thought
An answer provided by a nearby dock
And out onto this rickety construction I went
Out past the harsh surf
Now over top of the darker waves beneath
I plugged my nose and took the plunge
Thinking to myself
How deep could this Big Water be?

Beneath the sun sparkled waves
Sunlight rippling down
I dove towards the bottom of this Big Water
Swimming down as steep as I could
My ears started popping
The sunlight started dimming
It felt like my face was about to explode

I had to give up
With an explosive expletive heard nowhere
Accompanying me to the surface
Both bubbles and I arrived gasping to the air
Now surrounded by Big Water
As advertised upon the cottage rental sign
I was done and spent
But the undertow had dragged me out
That's when I realized just how big this Big Water was

It's been four hours
One hitched jet-ski ride
A warm bath with a good massage
And I've come to some conclusion on the Big Water matter

When confronted by something called Big Water
And being Swallowed by the big water sea
I much prefer the Little Water mixed with whiskey in this crystal glass
All the better to toss back my head and put it into me