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Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Gingerbread Man

A gingerbread man's work is never done
Or so it seems
As gingerbread hands grasp gumdrops
Their rough sugary skins held tightly
Being forced down into gumdrop shaped sockets in the snow frosting
With just a dab of fresh goopy sugar to help cement it down

At least until the next kid comes along and pops it loose again

Which wouldn't be so bad if they actually ate them
After all, that's what a gingerbread house
And it's associated items
Are for

For some reason gumdrops are out of favor
At that, the gingerbread man giggles to himself
Little white frost outlined mouth in a single crooked line
As he tries to keep his mirth inside
"Out of flavor......" runs through his little ginger brain

Even a gingerbread man makes the occasional pun

Mother comes downstairs
Making the gingerbread man freeze in place
As those are the rules
Same as the Toy Story world
Or maybe the Toy Story world's rules are the same as gingerbread man's
Who can say which came first?

Mother is cradling her back with an awkwardly placed hand
Her pregnant belly thrust out in front
A craving look in her eyes

Gingerbread man gets a bit nervous at that
Because grown ups have a taste for ginger
At least in this household
Several ginger shingles have already had to have been fixed this week
Thanks to late night 'drive by' binges by the Mother

But that wasn't her objective tonight
She passed on by the small side table in the dining room
Going straight to the kitchen
Gingerbread man could hear the fridge door open
He could hear Mother rummaging in the contents
Finding her treat of the evening

Gingerbread man quickly finished with his gumdrop
Making his way quickly back to the house
But he was frozen once again in mid motion
As Mother appeared in the doorway once again
A pickle in one hand
Still dripping it's briny fluid onto the linoleum
Her eyes locked upon the gingerbread man
Caught out in the open
On the gumdrop lined walkway up to the little frosted gingerbread house

His odd position seemed to make him shiny to the Mother
And still holding the wet pickle in her left hand
She reached out with her right
Covering the three steps to the side table in a heartbeat

Gingerbread man screamed silently on the inside as she picked him up
Thinking to himself that if this was it
At least it will be over quickly

He was wrong though

Mother held him firmly by the chest
Her hungry eyes upon him
Looking at every white frosted line on his gingerbread body
Her red rubbery lips opened
And Mother ate one of gingerbread man's feet

Gingerbread man's eyes opened into twin "O"s
Almost as big as the circle his mouth now made
Surprise and pain writ large all over his gingerness

Mother chewed quickly
Taking the other foot off in a tearing motion

Gingerbread man forgot all about the rules
Forget the rules!
Gingerbread man cried out in pain and frustration

"Ooooooh, the Christmas Horror!!!
The ginger humanity....!"

Mother seemingly didn't hear his sweet shrill little screams
Taking two more bites
Completely removing his gingerbread legs
Before remembering the wet shiny pickle in her other hand
And the fact that the children would be upset that she had eaten part of the gingerbread man

Mother guiltily hid the gingerbread man half under a candy bush in front of the gingerbread house
Half hoping nobody would notice for a few days
Then forgetting all about it
As she munched her hungry hungry Mother way through the large dill pickle
Chewing and humming softly as she made her way back up the stairs
Rubbing her pregnant belly with one hand

Gingerbread man wept sugar water tears
Dragging himself with his little gingerbread arms towards the front door of his house
Knocking candy decorations off their little settings
Not caring

Leaving a light trail of crumbs behind him
Little flecks of ginger color
On the white expanse of white sugar snow