Cookie Cake Doughnut Pizza Bake

That Twinkie of happiness
It's calling out to me again
I've had a bad day
Or just an average day
But my motor just isn't running like I'd like
A Twinkie will make things all right

A mechanical motion of chewing
Tasting all the while
Then swallowing
I've seen it in profile on an x-ray movie
It disgusted me thoroughly
Made me want to vomit to see

So it's just mechanics
A mechanism to fuel the body
Required yes
Recreation no

But just try and tell my brain that

Fall and hurt your knee my child?
Here's a lollipop to soothe the hurt
While I clean and blow upon your wound
You can drool sticky cherry sweets upon your shirt

Is it your birthday?
Here's a cake
If you don't have one you just aren't anyone
Eat, it's your birthday, Eat!
You are just too thin

Bored
Time to ride the bicycle
All the way to McDonald's
A twenty piece McNuggets to go
Asian '80's style with Teriyaki and Hot Mustard please

Rough day at school
Order a small Domino's pizza when you get home
It's only five bucks
(Screw the tip!)
In thirty minutes or less
You can get your fix

Did you ask that girl out
What'd she say
Oh
Well I have some cookies for you
That will make you feel less bad
After a small dozen or two

Mechanical
Chew
Swallow
It starts to feel good after awhile
It starts to be habitual
It goes beyond basic needs
It's your heroin
You get the shakes without it
Even as your brains screams NO!
Your hand puts it in your mouth

Those treats up there in the cupboard
Those are for lunches only
Don't touch them
Unless you'd like one
Did you think you would?

Or on those long lonely days and nights
With nobody around
At least nobody you give a damn about
That cookie cake doughnut pizza bake
Will fill that void
Almost as good as a special someone would

Food equals love
Food equals comfort
Food equals happiness
Food equals safety
Food equals not being bored

No wonder you're so fucking fat