It burns
I clench
I unclench
It's still throbbing and hot
I contemplate some counseling
It feels like I was raped by a yeti
Stinky and hairy
Cock like a log
Bent over a fallen cedar
Taken against my will
I almost wish it was true
But it's not
The truth is much less fascinating
Perhaps it was all the cheese
Or my wonderful granola bars
Whatever the case may be
It's left me in a sorry state
It's just not natural
To be passing something
The size of a bowling ball
I'll attest to that
It took two tries
And plugged up the john
I may have cracked the porcelain
But I don't care
I'm just thankful it's gone
On my list tomorrow
Is some yummy apple juice
Or grape, cranberry, prune
Getting it
Drinking it
Doing it soon
I just can't take this again
Can't even sit still
Rocking from cheek to cheek
Willing the time to kill
For it heals all things
Even my stretched out sphincter
Flapping in the breeze
After a Mack truck of a shit
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