Father's Day Education

"Happy Father's Day!"

My kids exploded into the bedroom
Marching in time with one another
The first carried a tray of 'breakfast'
Consisting of burned toast
With ironically unmelted butter
Some questionable looking eggs
And some hopefully safe orange juice

The tray arrived without incident to my side
On top of the old quilt

The other two kids carried a box
In large Sharpie marker on the side
It said "DAD"

"Good morning my chipchunks"
I say with a smile
"What's in the box?"

"You have to guess"
They all say
More or less in unison

I poke at my breakfast
And sip my orange juice
Pondering the enigma of the box

What could it conceal?

I ask a series of questions
And get some answers in return

"Is it alive?"

They all look at each other and giggle
"Maybe!"

"Is it furry or scaly or slimy?"

My youngest answers
"It's furry, mostly"

"Is it a cat?"

They just giggle

"Is it Schrodinger's cat?"

They look confused

"No daddy, it's for you!"

And my oldest pulls the top off the box
Exposing what is inside to my sight

I recoil in mock horror
Throwing my hands up to ward off the evil

It was Ming
Our old cat
Looking up at me with annoyed eyes
And a red bow around his neck

With a little 'mew'
He jumped out and looked around
I laughed
The kids laughed

Ming took an interest in my buttered toast
Thereby relieving me of the duty of eating it myself

I decide that first off for the day
While I have everyone here
I'm going to explain the whole deal
That happens when you put a cat in a box
With a decaying radioactive isotope

Oh the things that they don't teach in today's schools