Feeling a bit lost
And likely looking the part too
As I almost blindly followed Harvey the short fat man who was now dressed in a nun's habit
Not that it seemed so unusual now
As I was wearing the same exact thing
I have to admit to it feeling a bit free as I walked quickly to keep up with him
The spandex unitard snugly holding me together underneath the flowing black robes
Though the head piece felt a little strange
Like a combination of a tight hood and a sweatband
If you can imagine that
At least the fabric had been chosen for the job
As it breathed well and had a bit of stretch to it
As we arrived at the big practice ring area
Harvey bounded up to the ring platform and sat on the middle rope
Pushing up the top one and turning to me
"After you, oh mighty challenger!"
A loud noise erupted in the distance
Causing me to glance to the hallway at the other side of the room
"Don't let it distract you
The event is starting but we don't go on for another three matches
We are the second to last fight"
Harvey waved his free arm calling me on
"So hurry up
We only have time to go through this a few times
And we have to hit makeup for a minute before we go out"
I climbed a little awkwardly up onto the apron of the ring
Stepping on my habit's robe and almost falling back down as I did so
Harvey gripped my left forearm until I got my balance
Making me feel like he cared at least a little bit
"Okay Chuck!
Now I'll show you the dance!
Just be loose and let me guide you around
Listen to what I say and do the steps and motions"
His hands were animated as he talked
Pointing this way and that
"First time we'll go slow
Then we'll speed it up a bit"
I held up my hand
"Wait a sec
So this is all choreographed out?"
I asked with niave confusion on my face
"Who is going to win?"
Harvey laughed a genuine laugh
Stinging my sensibilities a little bit
"Don't think of it like that kid
There's no winner
There's no loser
We are just putting on a performance
And the more fun we have with it
The more fun everyone will have watching us do it!"
Frown lines were on my forehead
And I pushed the question a little bit
"But the money
The prize money I mean
Do I get $25 or can I still win and get $1000 dollars?
Harvey got a little more serious
"Look, I like you
And you fit the costume really good
So if you play ball and put on a good show with me
I'll toss you a hundred bucks plus a beer after the match"
This wasn't exactly as I had hoped
"What if I win?"
Harvey frowned now
"You won't"
He flatly stated
"Yes, but what if I do"
I persisted
"You don't win, kid
Now cut it out or I'll toss you out on your butt with no money at all"
Harvey The Nun looked dead serious now
His hands flexing in annoyance at me
But I had my answer for now
So I gave in and we started practicing
Harvey leading me through the moves
Bouncing me off the ropes
Picking me up and setting me down
All at half speed
And I paid attention
Going along with all my heart
Wearing the nun getup without shame
Just as he seemed to
But all the time in the back of my head was an insistent little voice
Telling me one thing
"You have to WIN!"
And likely looking the part too
As I almost blindly followed Harvey the short fat man who was now dressed in a nun's habit
Not that it seemed so unusual now
As I was wearing the same exact thing
I have to admit to it feeling a bit free as I walked quickly to keep up with him
The spandex unitard snugly holding me together underneath the flowing black robes
Though the head piece felt a little strange
Like a combination of a tight hood and a sweatband
If you can imagine that
At least the fabric had been chosen for the job
As it breathed well and had a bit of stretch to it
As we arrived at the big practice ring area
Harvey bounded up to the ring platform and sat on the middle rope
Pushing up the top one and turning to me
"After you, oh mighty challenger!"
A loud noise erupted in the distance
Causing me to glance to the hallway at the other side of the room
"Don't let it distract you
The event is starting but we don't go on for another three matches
We are the second to last fight"
Harvey waved his free arm calling me on
"So hurry up
We only have time to go through this a few times
And we have to hit makeup for a minute before we go out"
I climbed a little awkwardly up onto the apron of the ring
Stepping on my habit's robe and almost falling back down as I did so
Harvey gripped my left forearm until I got my balance
Making me feel like he cared at least a little bit
"Okay Chuck!
Now I'll show you the dance!
Just be loose and let me guide you around
Listen to what I say and do the steps and motions"
His hands were animated as he talked
Pointing this way and that
"First time we'll go slow
Then we'll speed it up a bit"
I held up my hand
"Wait a sec
So this is all choreographed out?"
I asked with niave confusion on my face
"Who is going to win?"
Harvey laughed a genuine laugh
Stinging my sensibilities a little bit
"Don't think of it like that kid
There's no winner
There's no loser
We are just putting on a performance
And the more fun we have with it
The more fun everyone will have watching us do it!"
Frown lines were on my forehead
And I pushed the question a little bit
"But the money
The prize money I mean
Do I get $25 or can I still win and get $1000 dollars?
Harvey got a little more serious
"Look, I like you
And you fit the costume really good
So if you play ball and put on a good show with me
I'll toss you a hundred bucks plus a beer after the match"
This wasn't exactly as I had hoped
"What if I win?"
Harvey frowned now
"You won't"
He flatly stated
"Yes, but what if I do"
I persisted
"You don't win, kid
Now cut it out or I'll toss you out on your butt with no money at all"
Harvey The Nun looked dead serious now
His hands flexing in annoyance at me
But I had my answer for now
So I gave in and we started practicing
Harvey leading me through the moves
Bouncing me off the ropes
Picking me up and setting me down
All at half speed
And I paid attention
Going along with all my heart
Wearing the nun getup without shame
Just as he seemed to
But all the time in the back of my head was an insistent little voice
Telling me one thing
"You have to WIN!"
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