No Rescue

Your mother weeps upon the toilet
A pitiful sight
Breaking my heart
Though I try to hold it together with all my might

Little pieces break off
And fall by the wayside
One of those pieces must be you
I bite my thumb else I would have cried

It's not the right time
It would be just too much
We already have a family
Those thoughts do not comfort as such

They are half truths
Brought on by the trip to Planned Parenthood
Past the protestors
And their grisly signs
Through the unmarked back door
A signature on the dotted line

Is it fine with me?
Well shit how should I know
I spray my sperm all over the place
Doesn't seem like it's someplace I should go

Her right to choose
Roe v Wade
Doesn't seem so glamorous now
As clots drip out of her cunt
Into the water below

It's all idealistic
It's all so tidy
Until it's in the form of a horse pill
That you have to swallow

I imagine a fully formed miniature baby
Drowning in the bloody water
Hidden from sight
Protecting my gentle sensibilities
And later that night
When all the outside is still
Frogs in the back swamp gone to sleep
Silence the only thing on the bill

I creep into the bathroom
I lift up the seat
I kneel down next to the stool
Resting my chin upon my forearm
That itself rests upon the edge of the bowl
I stare at the water
With my other hand I reach in and dabble at the water
As if there may be a little hand
I could grasp and pull up to safety

As if that unformed lump of cells
That only a few hours ago
Held a question mark as it's identity
Was actually a fully formed baby

I rise and go back to bed
Telling myself over and over
That a baby
Is the one thing
That you
Were not