Copyright Notice

Copyright: Fred Robel, and Fritz365 2010-2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Fred Robel and Fritz365 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Plushy Panda Wants You To Succeed

My soufflé was looking pretty good
Peering through the oven window at it
The oven light illuminating the puffy concoction
I smiled and stepped away
Turning to my right

And almost running into a wildly gesticulating Giant Plush Panda

He's my mascot
And I can't get rid of him

Seeing my pleasure at the success of my soufflé
Giant Plush Panda Mascot does a jumping cheer
Waving his arms
Patting me on the back crazily
In a mad exaggerated fashion
As if he were playing to a stadium of people
Instead of just me
In this little kitchen

The floor shakes beneath my feet as he does it
In my head
I hear a cartoon deflation sound
Like when the balloon is flying around the room until it's empty

And I know that the soufflé has collapsed
I don't even have to look
But I do anyways
And the Giant Plush Panda Mascot hangs his head
In exaggerated sadness
Putting both paws on the sides of his giant head
Shaking it in grief for my failure

I get angry
I point to the door
I tell it to leave
That I've had enough of it's crap

The panda does a dance instead
Followed by laying on it's side
Chasing itself in circles
Like an oversized plush Three Stooges Curley

I kick it
And my foot just bounces off
I can't even tell if anyone is in there
It may really be an enchanted plush panda

I peer closely at it's giant plastic eyes
Creeping me out
As they are unblinking
Spread wide
As big as my whole head

But I see nothing buy my own reflection in them

I get ready for bed
The panda cheers me on
In pantomime motions
Both short and annoyingly long

On my way to my bedroom
I smack it's big stupid head
Which spins around like it's on a pin
But just ends up facing me again
With a big silly panda grin

Doing my old man bedtime ritual
Putting lotion on my feet
Picking at my beard
The panda mimics me
With frequent thumbs up
From his ridiculous black padded paws

I'm exhausted and I lay down
The Giant Plush Panda Mascot
Stands sentry by my bed
His head cocked to the side
Pretending to rest upon his two clasped paws
Encouraging me to sleep
Like a good mascot should
A plushy cheerleader for daily things

I think tomorrow I'll try to push him in front of a bus
And that thought makes me smile in a haze
As I drift off to sleep
Under the baleful unblinking huge plastic panda gaze