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Monday, November 19, 2012

Beer Run

Roaring along in top gear
The tractor raced by
Trailing 10 shopping carts full of beer
The flannel clad driver ignoring me
Like I wasn't even here

Dropping the squad car into low
I pulled out behind him going slow
Lights on flashing red white and blue
Perhaps he took that as a sign he was a patriot
I can't be sure

He hung a sudden right
Going straight into Lazy Acres Trailer Haven
Almost tipping his shopping carts over
Which would have been a waste
To spill all that beer
I had plans for it already
To take it back to the station
For our annual cook out

Wouldn't anybody?

But for now
The chase was on
And that driver knew I was behind him
I caught a few furtive glances
As he tried to see if I was still there

He made a zig zag pattern in the road
Trying to lose me I suppose
But all it did was make his carts sway
They fishtailed and railed against each other
Surely shaking up that beer like no tomorrow

People sitting on their trailer steps
Waved and called out to him to stop
But he ignored them
The same as he was ignoring me
Heading for his goal
Which I now could see

A bonfire in the clearing
At the back of the trailer subdivision
Filled with other rednecks
Probably in a dry disposition
Depending on this beer run
Pulled by a Cub Cadet
The driver having lost his license to a DUI
Or at least that's what I''d bet

Finally he stopped
Just next to the fire
A little too close I was guessing
But he was sauced
He didn't care
And he wanted to be the center of attention

All his redneck friends
Stood up as I came to a stop
Getting out the car with my hand on my gun
I certainly didn't see any of them run

So I gauged the situation
And decided that discretion was the better part of valor

Walking over to the last cart in line
I grabbed a case of Bud Light
Holding it up as if it's all I wanted
I called out to them all

"I'll be taking this beer right here
And everything is going to be just fine"

I backed away slowly
Threw the case in the car
Threw it into reverse
And hoped I hadn't started a war

But I needn't have worried
For before I was even out of sight
Beers were cracked open in a flurry
As the drinking started up again for the night