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Sunday, November 25, 2012

Frying Pan Solution

The black cast iron frying pan feels heavy
And I know that it IS heavy
There are a couple dent's in my wood flooring to prove it

All the caked on crap from yesterdays omelette is slowly coming off
But not easily
Not happily
But then again that might just be me
Projecting my feelings onto a goddamned frying pan mess

You see
I couldn't stand her anymore

I used to love her
But I had to kill her
Just doesn't quite cover it
Mostly because I'm not dumb enough to do that

Besides
I don't really want to kill her
I don't hate her
I just don't want to be with her anymore
And I don't see any way out of it

Six kid's worth of child support would be no fun at all
Not to mention alimony
And the fact that I'd lose everything
Everything that means nothing really

I'm a coward anyways
I'd never have the guts to leave her
I just wish there was a way to change the past
To make it so that I never would have married her
To make it so that I could continue to be happy

And I was totally happy
I remember that
Just me and my two dogs

I even thought I was happy when I first met her a decade ago
The first year was awesome
It was disgusting in a "You complete me" kind of way

Fuck!

I always do this
I roll things over and over in my head
Never coming to a solution

The pan is finally clean

Setting it on the edge of the countertop
I grab for the towel
And I bump it
Sending it falling onto my foot

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"
I hop to the couch in rhythm to my repeated cursing
Plopping down onto the broken down cushions
Cradling my throbbing foot
Which didn't seem broken
Just bent

And the heavy black cast iron frying pan sat there
Right on the floor
Still wet
Still heavy

That's when I had the idea
A frying pan solution
If you will
To all of my problems

Now all I needed was a time machine