Washington D.C.

I shatter the glass in my mad dash through the door
My hand, now cut, becomes slippery with blood
I feverishly wish my partner was with me
All I have is the bloody key that I snatched from his neck
Snipers picked us up as we made our way to this building
The area was supposed to be held by us
But apparently someone else had different ideas
One minute I was talking quietly with him
The next he was down on his face
Obviously dead
I hadn't even heard a shot
I knew I was next
Dropping to my knee I grasped the chain from around his neck
Coming away with the all important key
I broke into a sprint
If only my old gym teacher could have seen me!
He never would have failed me
I don't think I have ever run that fast before
With every thudding running step
I imagined that I heard a ricochet
A small sound as a round buzzed by my face
Once, I felt a sudden pain my calf
I stumbled
Certain I was shot
But it was just a cramp
I rolled to my feet laughing
Out of breath
Sprinting once again
I'll not go softly into the goodnight
I'll go running!

Once I'm a few rooms into the building I calm down a little
I wrap a stray scrap of shirt around my hand
I light a cigarette and force myself to walk
I can't approach this in a panic
You just don't do that
Seems like a bad idea

I find the crate in the basement
On it's wheeled cart
I curse at it as I try to get it moving
Why......do......nukes....have...to be...so...heavy!
I pant to myself

This would have been easier with a helper
I think that as I press the elevator button
That thought gives me pause
I lean my head against the wall of the moving lift
Give myself a few minutes to cry and move on
No worries
This is all for a good cause

Reaching the thirty-fourth floor
I get the cursed thing moving again
My legs screaming protest after all the exertion of the last half hour
I think about everything around me
All the history
All the people

Kneeling down next to the box I release eight latches
Flipping the lid off
I inset the key
Ninety degrees to the left
Red lights come on
A monitor comes to life
Green glow lighting my face

I so can't read Russian
I pull the crumpled cheat sheet from my pocket
Suddenly on screen it asks a question

Press '1' to continue in Russian
Press '2' to continue in English

Well holy shit
I think to myself
That's right nice of them!
I press '2' without hesitation

Another prompt comes onscreen

I see you'd like to detonate your nuclear device?
To insure you know what you are doing, are mentally competent, and indeed human; please answer the following questions:


Finish the refrain from this famous Jackson 5 song: ABC, easy as ___________.

What the fuck?
Well, I guess if Facebook makes you do captcha things to verify yourself........
I carefully enter '1,2,3' on the keypad.


Very good!


Please enter the correct number to finish this quote: Four score and ____ years ago.

Oh, puhleeze! This is kid's stuff!
I press '7' on the pad

Almost done. Now please prove you are human. Look into the eyepiece please.

A small black stalk pops up out of the control panel
An eye cup on the end of it
A dim glow coming from within the cup
With a grunt of disdain, I press my eye to the cup

Okay hold still a moment.

A gunshot rings out in the small thirty fourth floor room on the north wall
My now lifeless body slowly slumps to the ground next to the box

Congratulations! You have been confirmed as human, and have received a door prize of a 9mm round though your eye. Please assume the recovery position while your location is pinpointed.


The CIA would like to thank you for choosing one of its fine products.


Thank you for playing, please tell your friends!