Lawyers

Across the street from the Statehouse
Our weekly luncheon was going smoothly
The two State Senators in attendance
Each paired up with a young single lady
And a never emptying plate of fine cuisine
Too pleased to go along with proposed bills as agreed
On this major day of lawmaking
Money well spent it would seem

After lunch
We bade goodbye to the Senators
With an invitation for next week
And do please bring your friends
Can’t make too many friends in the legislature
It helps when the laws need to be changed
For as good a lawyer as one can be
Every now and then you get backed into a corner
That’s when the special phone numbers can come in handy
A Senator here
A Representative there
The odd Federal Judge or two
All the grease on those heavy wheels

Today was April first
My group of associates here
Most of us from different firms
Were quite a diverse group
I was totally expecting a prank or two
But none had so far reared it’s head

I thought it was time to change all that
And I readied a stink bomb
Just a little stinky thing
I’d bought in a small shop across the lawn
I lit the fuse
Threw it under the table
And nonchalantly walked away
Giggling quietly to myself

Just then everything went to hell

The whole building shook
And I lost my footing
Rolling under a table
Panic in my eyes as I looked back where I’d been
I thought something had gone wrong with my stink bomb
Don’t laugh
I was a bit in shock
Not thinking clearly
I barely could process what I was seeing
Looking across the restaurant and out the shattered front window

The State house was on fire
And half of it was gone
There were armed men running around shouting
Flashes of light
Speeding vehicles
Not really making sense
Not making any sound
I touched my hand to my left ear
Coming away with a little blood
I threw up my fine lunch
And lay down on the soft carpeted floor
Curled up into a ball
A grown man in the fetal position
Wrapped in an Armani suit
Biting my thumb
And desperately hoping
That today wasn’t the day
That they come to hang all the lawyers