Plus Ten Blocking Headgear

Go ahead
I dare you to try
There is just no way
I'll stare you down and you won't have a clue

You'll not know what I'm thinking until I do
My actions will not be prefaced
My loves and hates
Are mine to taste
I'm keeping my thoughts to myself
And I'd appreciate it if you'd do the same

It's a crazy game
That you and I play
You think you can control me
But it's just not so
When I go over here
and do that thing
It's for my own profit
Or enjoyment
Not yours

Seriously
Even though that's what you wanted me to do
It's got nothing to do with you
And that thing just now?
The hitting myself over the head with a loaf of bread?
Yeah, that's what I wanted to do
Don't claim it was you

You know how I know?
Because I've got this fantabulous
Totally awesomest
Hand built in my workshop
With my own two hands
From 'professionally' put together plans

Lead lined, tin hat