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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

#53 Is the King of Embarassing Situations

Honey roasted peanuts
Roll down around my head
The large broken jar
Busted in half, quite dead.

Flat on my back
Surrounded by this mess
I can't move without pain
And wished I'd gotten dressed

"Hello, 911?"
"I've had an accident, and I'm not quite right"
The ambulance is on it's way
Boy are they in for an sight

I try to knock some napkins off the cupboard
By spitting peanuts at them
At least then I could cover my shame
Even though that would be funny just the same

I panic a little more
And try to get up off the floor
No go, no doing
I roll back to where I was before

The damn peanuts everywhere
Just aren't helping either
Looks like a sweet toothed squirrel
Just had his nest explode in the kitchen

Next thing you know
They are at the door
It's unlocked, thank god
Embarrassment: only in seconds more

As they come around the corner
And see me laying there
Their lips tug into a momentary smile
Seeing what's happened here

What made it worse, than all the rest
Much worse than the sticky peanuts stuck to the walls
Is that my penis crawled right back up in
And left me looking like a woman, with balls.

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