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Friday, March 15, 2013

The Last Thank You

Miss Manners always said
When someone does something nice for you
You should always thank them
And if you cannot in person
Send a thank you card in your stead

This I have always done
Which went well and good and proper
Until one day

I got a thank you card for my thank you card
It was intricate and hand made
Better than the one I'd sent
By at least 44 percent

This would not do!
So I sent a thank you card
Saying in no uncertain terms
That this thank you was for the thank you
To the thank you that I had sent
In thanks for the lovely lemon bundt cake
That I had enjoyed at tea with the ladies
Only a fortnight ago
In the fancy club on Main Street
Just around two o'clock on a Tuesday

This card I sent was the best I could manage
It had frills and flourishes to give a craftsman the chills
At the time and expense that it must have taken
For I am a woman of many a talent
And the world would be best not to forget that
Thank you very much

I put it in the post
And that was that

Or so I thought

For a week later
There was another thank you card
Thanking me profusely for the thank you card
That I had sent in thanks for the thank you card
That I had received in thanks for my thank you card
That I had sent in thanks for the lemon bundt cake
Eaten with gusto at tea time on a Tuesday at the club on Main

Where would this end?
I wailed and pulled at my hair
Which was a wig of great cost
So I stopped immediately

I just won't send another
I thought to myself
That will put a stop to this

And so it went
For two whole weeks
Every day of which
I stopped and I stared at the breathtaking thank you card I had last received
Until I could take it no more

And I made and sent one again
Hoping almost selfishly
That perhaps the woman had died in the interim
So that this cycle could end with dignity

With a fervent prayer to all that was on high
As I dropped the card in the Post
That this would be the last that I would ever have to send
I turned to go back to my cottage

And dropped dead on the sidewalk
My beautiful sun hat
The one with the rose colored ribbon
Fluttered down beside me

The last Thank You sent at last