"Be kind"
Says the anthropomorphized videotape
"Rewind"
Kind of like a prostitute
Asking you to set her up
For the next John
Because it's only polite after all
You've had your fun
And now you're done
So won't you put the seat back down
So that sister doesn't fall?
It's a kindness
Helping old ladies across the street
Tipping the wait staff
Pressing flesh when you greet
It keeps society lubricated
Like a high class condom
Torn fresh from it's foil package
You know
The one with the face of your favorite Pokemon
Some kindness is better than others
Is it a kindness to put old Rover down
When he's lived his life fully
And can't raise his head to say hello?
Maybe he'd say, "Wait! What's your hurry?"
Maybe Rover doesn't want to go
Much like some humans
Who get plugged into machines
Fearful of the death on the other side
But we judge it a kindness
To euthanize the family pet
As much as we loved them
Another one we can get
Down to the Rover store
For a brand new model
A little fuzzy run around
Hey look at me I'm doing the poop on your floor waddle
A kindness
To put the new little Rover
In with old Aunt Hilda
Plugged into her machines
Not ready to let go
To remind her
That not all of life is pain
That sometimes
It's good
To have a brand new puppy again
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