Egads! A Clot!

It's hard and irregular shaped

Painful to the touch

And wasn't there yesterday

Not that I can remember much

I probe with my fingers

Gently into my belly

Feeling what's there

My nerves turning to jelly

It makes me sick to feel it

Like a creature growing unbidden

Did I mate with an alien in my sleep

How could I keep this hidden?

Visions of horrors fill my head

Aliens popping up through my chest

Oddly an image of a pregnant Arnold Schwarzenegger

And an irresistible urge to nest

I'm going to sleep on this

As icky as it feels

Maybe it will go away of it's own accord

Maybe I'll wake up giving birth to eels

Only time will tell

As my eyes grow heavier

A last thought that I might die from this

Then my mind floats off like a feather

Awakening in the morning

The sun illuminating my pain

Covers are thrown off me

Dismay on my face very plain

My stomach was now distended

I'll try to describe it

Go with me on this

Imagine a plastic bag

Now put a stiff one eighth cable in there

Bend it so it pushes against the bag pretty hard

And that's what I've got here

Except it's inside of me

The skin is stretched so tight

I can almost see exactly what it is

I grab myself a flashlight

I shine it one way

And then the other

Having an inspiration

I shine it through my skin from the bottom

Looking down through the tight skin

Now illuminated redly against the dim

I can clearly see a smallish artery

Pressurized hard and bowed out

I touch it with my hand

Pain shoots to my brain telling me to stop

I can feel my heartbeat in it

Pumping it harder with every beat

I look at the left end of it

About four inches from my belly button

There does appear to be an obstruction

It's a clot!

I think to myself in a panic

It's blocking the flow

Making me manic

What should I do?

What should I do?

Then nature takes over

As I peer intently with great panic

The clot mottled pale and purple

Moves ever so slightly

Stretching itself out

Almost like an inchworm

Inching around inside

I can watch it move

A little more now

Then quickly unobstructing

Racing from view

My stomach regains

It's previous normal shape

For which I'm glad

However not perfect it is

But where did it go?

Having that running around just can't be good

But then I know where it is

As my heart skips a beat and stops

Pain lances across my chest

I know I'm going to pass out

But with my last ounce of energy

I channel Homer Simpson

And punch myself in the chest

One shot, only one

And it works

My heart stutters up again

Pushing that nasty clot through

Going to where unwanted clots go

I only hope it doesn't grow

Or go to my brain

That would be bad

Who knows what could happen

Oh, ouch!

What was that?

Smells like burnt toast

Suddenly the floor looks so interesting

I think I'll just sit here

And drool