TL;DR

Fuck but this thing is long
I promised to read it though
So I do my best impression of a desert parched man
Drinking in each word like a rare morning dew

But then long before I was halfway through
My mind starts to wander
To think about my grocery list
Or the identity of an obscure shape over yonder

So I have to reread a sentence or two
There is no shame
I'll still muddle on through
But it gets worse just the same

I find myself skimming the paragraphs
Picking up on interesting words I might see
"Oh! Right there it said 'sex'!"
But it was only an obscure reference to the life of an oak tree

As strange as that was
It didn't hold my attention
Nor did most other tantalizing words
Though there were more than I could mention

Eventually I stood firm and read the final last bit
Hoping to scrape away the facts that I'd need
As that is where good writers tend to summarize things
But it did leave me feeling unfulfilled indeed
So I tossed the article aside into an ever growing pile
That had a sign pointing at it that said "Too Long; Didn't Read"