On the second day of Christmas
I worked filling in where my hearth should be
The evidence of my spiked man-trap
Strategically located at the base of the chimney
First throwing in some lime
In the hopes Saint Nicholas would soon dissolve
Shovelful followed shovelful
Each time feeding my festive resolve
To plausibly deny any involvement
With what was at the bottom of the hole
Wrapped in red velvet trimmed with white fur
Past that
I played with my new Lego sets
Eating festive cookies
With fresh buttered baguettes
Some packages were prepared
For the postman and the butcher
The paperboy and snow removal guy
And a babysitter named Ericka
Then I opened them all back up
Rewarding myself instead
Boxing Day is a European holiday after all
And this is 'Murica!
All washed down with two things I love
A locally brewed beer
And two barbecued turtle doves
I worked filling in where my hearth should be
The evidence of my spiked man-trap
Strategically located at the base of the chimney
First throwing in some lime
In the hopes Saint Nicholas would soon dissolve
Shovelful followed shovelful
Each time feeding my festive resolve
To plausibly deny any involvement
With what was at the bottom of the hole
Wrapped in red velvet trimmed with white fur
Past that
I played with my new Lego sets
Eating festive cookies
With fresh buttered baguettes
Some packages were prepared
For the postman and the butcher
The paperboy and snow removal guy
And a babysitter named Ericka
Then I opened them all back up
Rewarding myself instead
Boxing Day is a European holiday after all
And this is 'Murica!
All washed down with two things I love
A locally brewed beer
And two barbecued turtle doves
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