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Sunday, December 29, 2013

1st Day of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Not a goddamned thing
Under that needle shedding tree

The baby in it's creche cried
As its mother's milk dried up
Any other child would have died
Good thing this one was Jesus

What does Jesus need with breast milk anyways?

Those needles strewn about the hardwood floor
Are perfect tinder for some Christmas spirit
Just add a shiny Zippo lighter
Instant crackling Christmas!  Can you hear it?

Its almost like I'm there
With the warmth of the fire upon my face
Calling to mind Christmas' past
With their annual fall from grace

Aunt Hettie into the sauce before noon
Basting the dog by mistake
As the Turkey dries out in the oven
Acquiring a crunchy skin of black flake

Oh Christmas Tree
Oh Christmas Tree
On this first day of Christmas
I lie naked underneath thee!