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Sunday, February 1, 2015

Sneezeweeds Meet DDT

The sixty snarling sneezeweeds swayed in perfect sync
Bowing down on the inhale
And blown back by the explosive exhale
Clocked at sixty seven miles per hour
Back and forth
In and out
Varied disease vectors spreading incrementally
Floating god knows what to all the points of the compass

Achoo! Sounded all sixty snarling sneezeweeds
Who surely have cleaned out their nasal cavities completely
So "Quit it!" I shout towards them
Though my voice was muffled from the triple layer surgical masks I was wearing
For all of our protection mind you

"It's not our fault!"
Whined the sneezeweeds in perfect unison
Making me wonder how sick and out of sorts they could really be
Sounding more rehearsed than the synchronized sneezewort team
"We are allergic to sneezeweed!"
They cried in despair

Which was fair
Since they were sneezeweeds of the snarling variety themselves

Well it's clear that I have to save them from themselves
I think I have something here under these heavy bowing shelves
Aha, there it is
A half gallon can of leftover DDT from dear old grandfather
Who, god rest his soul, died of extreme DDT exposure

So this didn't seem smart
But I felt committed now
Loading up the aerial sprayer
Attaching it to the undercarriage of an aircraft
Because if you're going to do something
You should do it beyond all the way
And I had the plan to do a major over spray
There would be no greenery left anywhere
From sea to shining sea with nothing but dirt in between
It'll be the cleanest landscape anyone's ever seen