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Thursday, January 29, 2015

Awful Animal Safari

This goat is definitely diabetic
It's creepy square pupil eyes are dilated
With blood sugar readings in the thousands
If it was an octane rating
This goat would spontaneously combust

Diabetic goat dances to its own tune
Disregarding doctor's orders with aplomb
Divulging cash from a hidden goat purse
Demonstrating questionable judgment
Devouring caches of donuts and layered pastries
Deported from healthier nations from far overseas

I ask you
If this makes sense
Indubitably awaiting a logical answer
Ill prepared for the look that I got
Illustrated best by a design of sharpened daggers
Instigated directly from your eyes
Inked upon parchment comic paper set aside till it dries

Running from that diabetic goat situation
As well as the sharp object spray and pray I encountered
The twisted path that projected before me
Really only led to one inevitable place

Hamsters with bulging hernias
Awaited me at the end of the road
Just as I knew that they would
Not that I'm prescient or anything
Just that I had a feeling it would be something messed up like that

The hamsters could barely walk
Teetering upon their feet
Toes extended to get more lift
Till their sticky-outy insides did not drag the ground
Tumbling from side to side when this wasn't possible
Triggering tiny hamster sized earthquakes with every bounce to the earth
Tagging each other in a mad miniature dance
Titillating in nature
True in purpose
To tickle the truth until secrets spilled out
Trickling into open pink hamster mouths
The overindulgence of which
Takes the lead as the cause of the hernias in the first place

Diabetic goats
Hamsters with hernias
What would be next?
I mused to myself
As I wandered down a dark path
So overgrown with greenery
That I failed to see the sign to the left
Clearly spelling out why this route is unwise

"Beware of Tigers with Tarantulas for Eyes"


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