Amorous Jesus

Jesus he loved everyone
That was certainly for sure
As he roamed from sea to sea
In and all around his home of Galilee
He passed his loving hooka from lips to lips

Much has been said of his missing years
Years of which there is no mention
But I have a revelation of sorts
I found it all in old Roman reports
It seems that Jesus was considered a bit of a deviant

Upon sexual maturation
Or the start of it anyways
At the tender age of thirteen
Young Jesus was as curious as he'd ever been
Playing house with neighbor girls, boys and pets

It seems anything with a pulse was fair game
For this young lad of fair and decent looks
He was known to have stamina for hours on end
Following his aroused instincts wherever they beckoned
Sometimes plumb wearing out two or three partners a night

This went on for years as more or less of a hobby
Until he met his lustful match one evening
A comely lass roughly his same age
Whose loins were legend in their craving rage
Jesus took their meeting as a sign and a challenge

All through the night and into the next day
The one tried to wear out the other as one day bled into the next
Inventing positions and role play as they went
Until the whole thing was clearly a miracle heaven sent
Mary Magdalene had been destined for Jesus

Thus it was that now with a partner who was his equal
Both in and out of the ancient hay filled sack
That Jesus could start upon his true and chosen task
Soon assembling the best dozen chums anyone could ask
And spreading his philosophy of love to all who would listen

Mary was always by his side
For whenever his thoughts would wander to baser places
She was there to calm his lustful tumultuous inner sea
Until his thoughts flowed clear with smooth post coital chi
Yin to his Yang and lock to his key

To tame the Amorous Jesus