No, Puppy!

"No, puppy, no, no, no, no"

But she never listens
She only cocks her head
And keeps on doing what she is doing
Which is naughty and bad
She is certainly the worst dog I've had

"No, puppy, no!  No, no, no!"

She continues to shred the toilet paper
Until the room looks covered in snow
Then she frolics in it
Bounding about in puffy paper explosions

"No, puppy, no!  No, no, no!"

I can't keep up with her pee spots
I've run through all my vinegar
I've bought all the Febreze
There no way to put my nose at ease
She's just the worst puppy
And really quite a tease

One time she went five days
Without doing anything wrong
I looked at her and asked
"Whose dog are you?"
To which she gave me a look most smug
Then she copped an immediate squat
And went number two on the oriental rug

"No, puppy, no! No, no, no!"

But then at night
She creeps onto my bed
Laying her bad little self down
On the spare pillow next to my head
Looking at me with those same brown eyes
That made me pick her out when she was new
And I think how she won't live forever as time flies

I scratch her behind her bad puppy ears
"Yes, puppy, yes.  Good, good, girl."