Go Home Thumbs, You Are Drunk

One, Two, Three, Four
Let's start a thumb war

Skin on skin for the begin
Don't fret none
It's not a sin

Let's pit our opposable muscles against one another
At least until someone brings up your mother
Then all bets are off

Five, Six, Seven , Eight
Try to keep your thumb straight

Now the claws will really come out
Directly into your skin
I haven't used clippers to trim
Are you sure you are ready to begin?

Thumbs still stalk one another
Though now those digits are armed
With little knives and attitudes
Sharp as your wit
So not so bloody very

Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve
Into the arsenals we shall delve

Bring up the treaty banned weapons of old
Some gas and nukes from a time that was
Hang on there's some protesters out front
"Here you go Sisters, a donation for your cause"

Now that that's taken care of
Let the refrigerant flow
As this war gets colder
And our brave thumbs fear to have a go

Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen
Don't do that, it's kind of mean!

In the dark of night
One thumb shot another
Only to find it was his brother

Not his opposite
For that would mean two right hands
Which is creepy if you think about it

Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty
Follow Tom Thumb to the land of plenty

Now the loser meets Saint Thumb
Who mans the gate to Thumb Heaven
Which only means that this tale is done
As the thought of that is kind of dumb