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Copyright: Fred Robel, and Fritz365 2010-2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Fred Robel and Fritz365 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

A Big Hairy Deal

The Big Hairy Deal had been summoned
With ritual and words ages old
With tight wiry hair over his entire body
He moved almost silently
As if the hair muffled everything he did
Interacting with the air somehow
Deadening the sound waves
As each strand moved as if it had life of its own
Creating a miasma of movement baffling to the eye

From within the hair covering his face
Piercing ice blue eyes peered
Taking in everything around him
Just in case he had to stop suddenly and blend in
Which was surprisingly easy for the Big Hairy Deal to do

Moving quickly through the painfully austere neighborhood
A sure victim of over-zealously enforced home owner's association rules
Long legs stretched easily as he loped down the street in the twilight
Silent as a summer breeze past one beige single story home after another
Until he arrived at his destination

710 West Branch Street

The fine hairs upon his lanky form virtually buzzing with movement
The Big Hairy Deal made his careful way up the front sidewalk
Meeting up with the small family dog about halfway to the front door

Ice blue beast eyes met with brown canine for just a split second
Then before the dog could bark, or growl, or anything else
His eyes found the murderously mind bending movement of the carpet of hair
Causing his little doggy brain to spin, his eyes to cross
And making him vomit uncontrollably

The threat dealt with
The hairy beast made the last few feet to the door in two steps
Where he stretched out a hand to the handle
But waited patiently without moving another muscle

Inside the house two children could be heard arguing loudly
"I don't care if you think it was against the rules!!
I just don't see why you have to make such a Big Hairy Deal out of it!"

On that cue
The Big Hairy Deal swiftly opened the door to present himself upon the foyer
Framed perfectly between the open door and the family coat rack

Ice blue eyes met with two pairs of mismatched bratty child
Then before the pair of children could do anything else
Their horrified gazes landed upon his finely fluctuating fibers
Their eyes crossed
Brains spun
And they laid upon their sides suddenly
Vomiting uncontrollably

The Big Hairy Deal was already gone however
Out the door
Past the still sick dog
And cruising down the middle of the road again

Swinging a black umbrella he'd swiped from the coat rack in his right paw jauntily
Ice blue eyes pinched in laughter slightly
Only awaiting that age old call to make an appearance again