Farewell To Radio

So turn on the radio
Let's groove to the static
As that's all that's left now
Since The Man sold all the bandwidth away

"It's all valuable spectrum!"
That's what they'd said
As AT&T Verizon and all the rest
Queued up to buy it from the Fed

Till there was that one last Disc Jockey down in Idaho
Playing at Bumfuck megahertz on the AM band
Just his old glass record collection
And whatever anyone else had on hand

That went away too
And it was only then that we realized what we'd lost
In our drive for cheap and easy
Convenient and sleazy
Podcasts from everyone under the sun
Mouth breathers and professionals alike
Competing for invisible clicks
Plusses, despises, and likes

The ad revenue dried right up
Till everyone who was anyone doing it
Was just a part time hobbyist

And that's when they hit us
With super slick productions from the big companies
Assisted by Citizens United and the FCC
Jamming funnels in our ears
Pouring in their fears
Until we thought like them
Grooved to the same tunes as them
And of course
Signed away all our money to them

Till static was all that we could afford
Listened to on old radios we dumpster dived for
Powered by old car batteries and dreams
Listening for the odd suicide by pirate radio
Which would last for about five minutes
Before the drones zeroed in on them
Blowing them ten miles high

But for those five minutes
It was Down With Big Brother-Aerosmith-Black Flag-Beethoven-Satchmo

And we all wept when it was done