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Friday, October 10, 2014

E.XX.X Series Technical Bulletin #4276

Regarding the Gravity Engine Servo System (GESS)
And the Orbital Sensor Tether System (OSTS):

The recent malfunction of the OSTS
And the resultant loss of four orbital Sensors
Cost the Company sixteen hours of downtime
Over the North American quadrant

A relentless root cause committee has determined
That contaminated re-supply containers out of Birdling's Flat Catapult were to blame

As a result
Approximately 112 Vespadelus Vulturnus (Little Forest Bat)
Were unintentionally released in the Central Maintenance Area

Said bats found refuge in the narrow slots along the root anchors of the OSTS
Fouling the mechanism with their guano
Which caused the emergency release mechanism to sense an overload
Releasing the four tethers on that root section

Engineering was contacted and blamed
They explained that bat guano was not something that was in the design specs
Therefore blame must be transferred exclusively to the resupply handlers on the ground

This portion of the investigation is still pending

As a stop gap measure
The eatery previously known as Sally's Forth 
Before the disastrous fire from two Christmas' past
Will now be used as a sealed area to receive inbound cargo

Cargo will be moved piecemeal into this area
Blast doors will be lowered
And only then will the Level 1 maintenance crews open the containers

If contamination is found
It can be vented to vacuum easily
With only trivial losses of any perishables within that single container
And one low level four person crew

If you have any further questions regarding this issue
Please reference your employee handbooks
As well as your employment contract's expendability clauses

End of E-XX.X Tech Bulletin #4276

Wishing you a pleasant day

~ Compiled and approved by Bureaucratic Computational System v.64.8734a ~