Smooth As Silk

Smooth as silk
Sexy as hell
I want that porn star look
I know I’ll wear it well
Brand new Schick in plastic
I’m taking it home
To ravage my package

Everyone will be jealous
If I were to show them
Maybe I will
Via a Facebook still

I know I’ll be accused
Of Too Much Information
But I don’t give a damn
I want to share my dehairination

What to use?
Oh I guess just my trusty Barbasol
It’s served me in the past
And I’ve got sensitive skin
I grab a handful of foam
And dive right in

The first stroke
Was almost a joke
It came off so easy
I wasn’t worried
Almost getting cocky
All bent in half
To get a better view
Of my junk

Seems hard to get into the corners
The crannies if you will
I grasp my sack gently
Stretching it tight
For a close pass

Suddenly a burning sensation
Holy shit!
I throw water on it quickly
But that seems the wrong thing to do
As it just makes it worse
I bend over to take a look at the damage
And see that I’ve taken a bit too much off
All those wonderful wrinkles
That make it look like a walnut
I’ve taken the tops right off those ridges
Now a spiderweb of red lines
Marks the path of that new Schick

As I lay in bed that night
With that unending burning
Tight upon my balls
I take a mental note
To never
Ever
Do that again