#90 Eyes Your Shiny New Commode

I haven't seen my friend for ages
We greet and smile and chat
He has to run an errand
So I lay down for a nap

I slept
The sleep of the dead
Almost before
The pillow hit my head

I had a dream

I dreamt of my friend's bathroom
Shiny and new
I was dying to try it out
You know you would too

So I unzipped and let go
But something was wrong
I kept getting it all over me
I was getting covered in pee

That's when I woke up
Midstream, so to speak
I was mortified
I could die

What's worse
While I was asleep
Lots of people had come over
It was enough to make me weep

I hung a blanket in front of myself
And tried to act nonchalant
As I looked for my change of clothes
Is that too much to want?

But I couldn't find them
No matter how hard I tried
I just kept wandering around
My pants squishing around my thighs

Now I was desperate
I knew I must smell
So I casually tried to bail
But I knew everyone could tell

As I got to the front door
I tripped and I fell
Everyone could see my soaked pants
This just couldn't end well

As I lay there with my eyes closed
I wished to be anywhere else

Then, I woke up
And found I had wet the bed.