#197 Is the Nothing

I am the nothing

I fill you up

When all else is gone

When you aren’t special

When you aren’t loved

When you aren’t pretty

Or ugly

Or even pretty ugly

You are nothing

When something is taken away

That once filled you with love

Or joy

Or happiness

I am the nothing that rushes in

Like water filling a sudden void

The nothing smothers

With the blackest vacuum

When your father died

And you were filled with shock

Then disbelief

Then seemingly unending sadness

When it did end

That’s where I came in

I filled  you with nothing

And made you numb

You went on autopilot

And shook hands

Smiled a fake smile

And pretended to remember the good times

But it was really nothing

When your first love

The big love

The one that taught you

How wonderful it can be

To love someone

Other than immediate family

When that person spiked your heart

Straight into the ground

I am the nothing

That made you think

That love was a cruel joke

I was the nothing

That finally made the pain go away

I was the nothing

That showed you how to go through the motions

To satisfy your needs for companionship

And sex

But not get hurt

When the tank is empty

Filled with nothing

Where will you go now?

With no gas in your engine

No emotions on your sleeve

You have to get something in there

To make me go away

But I cling like a barnacle

To the tatters of your soul

Scraping me away

Is the only way to move on

But just try scraping nothing away

It's harder than you think

#196 Seven Deadly Sins: Pride

My mirror glitters in the vanity lights

I peer brightly back at myself

My hair is perfect

Everything is, actually

I am so beautiful

Symmetrical face and body

Sculpted from hours in the gym

And my surgeon's knife

Everything is as it should be

Even my manhood is perfect

In size and shape and hue

My lover calls out to me

From my silk sheeted bed

Her own body a thing of beauty

As it should be

I would accept no less

From one who would worship

At the temple of me

But I’m not done

Making love to myself

With my eyes

And I tell her to wait

And she should

I’m the best she could ever do

I’m well worth the wait

I’ve never gotten a complaint

I grab a few drops of oil

Rub them on my chest

To make it shine

Grinning, I flex my pecs

Almost giggling at the awesome sight of myself

I stride confidently to the bed

She knows I’m eager to touch her

She opens her arms

Revealing her almost perfect form

Little does she know I’m even more eager

To touch myself

I am heart rendingly beautiful

Is it so wrong?

To feel PRIDE?

#195 Seven Deadly Sins: Sloth

I'd love to move

I really would

I know you'd like me to

And I know that I should

But will I?

Eh, maybe later

The times ticks on

My whiskers get longer

Some task looms undone

My body odor, stronger

I should really shower and shave

Be presentable and get something done

Heck afterwards I could go out

Meet some people, have some fun

It's a nice thought

And I really almost did it

But I got a few steps

Then didn't get near it

My comfy chair was calling out

So I kicked some trash aside

And I slumped right in

Kicking back for a Lazy-Boy ride

I think I found my own impression in the cushions

It's the sweet spot in the seat

Makes me never want to move again

Though I might get hungry and want to eat

I keep the phone close at hand

I call the take out guy

He lets himself in

Sets my food right on my thigh

I really don't have to get up or do much

The state pays my bills

I'm officially disabled

Certified for all my ills

Phone on the left

Computer on the right

TV front and center

I have a nurse that tucks me in at night

I say I'm living the life of Riley

Others would say

That this life

Is Sloth

#194 Seven Deadly Sins: Wrath

Everything was fine

Until you decided to creep over the line

You've awakened the dragon

Now deal with the teeth and fire

I can't believe what I see

Everything enrages me

I want to burn it all down

Until all is ashes

My rage at all the bad drivers

The pedestrians and bikers

And my god, traffic cameras

I keep a baseball bat in the car

For taking those out

I've been to anger management

I've seen a psychiatrist

I've taken medications

Nothing can contain my anger

At everything I see

The baby crying on the airplane

Needs to be thrown out the door

That stewardess who spilled on my shirt

I slapped her across the face

That one got me some detention time

I try to control myself

I breathe in and out

I do my mediation

There is a huge "but" to all of that though

What really calms me

What really makes me feel at peace

At one with the universe

Is what gets me in trouble in the first place

I lull myself to sleep with thoughts of revenge

On those who cut me in line, or teased me as a child

My wet dreams are of raping women who scorn me

I have sweet dreams of murder and arson

I'd never do anything to anyone

Or anything

That didn't deserve it

I'm no animal

But when you piss me off

You better stay out of my path

My rage will know no bounds

You will know my WRATH

#193 Seven Deadly Sins: Greed

The man, in soiled rags

Reached out and asked for a dollar

His gaunt form crying for attention

So I press some money into his palm

With my right hand

Even as I dip into his cup

With my left

And take ten times as much as I give

Life feels good

Laughing to myself

As I walk away

Pressing flat, folding

And putting the man's bills away

I flip out the key fob for my Bentley

Open the door, and slip into the glove leather seat

Life is perfect

Roaring down the highway

In my car, costing more than most houses

I scheme on the phone with my partner

Bending laws, to benefit my wallet

Takes money to make money

And mine just keeps growing exponentially

I cut off a school bus, and give them the finger

Life is grand

I'm pushing for some luxury condos on the river

All I have to do is demolish that school for the blind

I'll admit, it's got me in a bind

But after I bribe the city planners

It'll go over like butter

I'll donate something to smooth it over

They're suckers for that

Life is about getting what I want

Rolling up to my house in the hills

Pablo meets me at the door with the mail

I pay him very little

It's a lot of money where he comes from

I look at the envelopes

Cancer society, PETA, Save the Whales

What's wrong with these people?

I won't dole out a dollar unless it benefits ME

I'll take more than I'll ever give

Life is greed

#192 Seven Deadly Sins: Envy

I am absolutely green

My neighbor has gotten a new car

While I’m stuck with an old piece of crap

It’s just not fair

But that’s not all

Not by far

His house is better than mine

I think about it all the time

It makes me crazy

How everything he has is better than me

His wife is beautiful and thin

Mine is dumpy and fat

I can’t even get it up for her

When I think about that

His kids always do well

In sports and academics

They look good too

My kids just do not

When I think of all these things

I get envious and start thinking

Of ways I could have everything he does

Oh I won’t kill him and take over his life

Or anything weird like that

I just need more money

And a sexier wife

And better kids

And a newer car

I’m going to work towards these things

As my current family and possessions

Are simply not up to my expectations

Well, at least in comparison with HIS

I think I can admit it

I’m jealous

Maybe I would kill to get what he has

I can always claim that I was driven to it

By ENVY

#191 Seven Deadly Sins: Lust

Wrapped in soft skin

Or compound curved sheet metal

My hands long to caress you

Undress you

I long to press my lips to you

Feel the texture of your body with my tongue

It's a consuming desire

The heat in my chest is a fire

For you

I dive into your schematics

The way this connects to that

And magic happens without any dramatics

It's Teutonic, it's clean, I want to posses it

To ride you

I slip inside you

This isn't a dream

Caressing your knob

I rev you up

To excite you

I run my hands up and down

Your wet flanks

You shiver, and purr

And tear away without a word of thanks

Seeing you react to me is enough

Just thinking of you

Is pure sex

My heart flutters

My muscles flex

Thoughts of you consume me

I keep a key to you

On a silver chain around my neck

When I am apart from you

I am a wreck

Being with you is a drug

But you make up for it

When I really dig in

And make you scream

I save the sound in my head FTW

Your sound becomes energy in my head

I can get by without you

But only just

You are the only thing on my mind

This is how I define Lust