#106 Channel Surfs

The lovely lifeless nuns

Sang their songs

Joylessly, robotically

On a 78 from 1920

A black and white

Penguin choir

Preserved on glass

For posterity

Boring! Change the channel!

Attractive stainless steel firefighters

Clanked their indestructible way

Into the blazing fire

In Liberia

Who knew that Liberia

Would be the ones

To make a T1000

And a firefighter at that?

What a world, Change the channel!

The silent orange sculptors

Carved their models quietly

Paying no attention to the water at their feet

Or the fact that the ship was sinking

“They look like little people

With spray tans!” I whispered to my friend

He smacked me on the head, and said,

“They prefer the term dwarf, you idiot!”

OMG, what a dumb show, Change the channel!

Confusing juicy iguanas

Wander the prairies of early America

Squishing in their skins

Full of life, full of…..juice

The circling buzzards

Can’t hardly wait

For one of these walking juice bags

To make a mistake

All right, there’s nothing on.  Goodnight

#105 Laments For Creation of Commons

Ready

Set

Compose!

Make it rhyme

Finish it on time

Turn it in

Collect your dime

For it would be a crime

To do it for free

Open source

Crowd sourced

Surely nothing there is worthwhile

If it’s free

It just can’t be

What do I have to do

To make you see?

I’ll roast the little

Linux penguin

Until you scream

“Stop, stop! Oh god, I’m sorry!”

Open Office?

I’ll shut it down

Blow it up, pave it over

With a Microsoft parking garage

Copyright?  Patents?

I’m extending them to 2000 years

You can’t work with anything

It’s the sum of your worst fears

Have an idea? 

I’ll bet someone else

Has had it before

Let me look in my Rolodex

Oh yes, I’m so sorry

Mister Mussinfuck filed for this same item

Back in 1580

Or something close to it.

No profit for you

Can’t do it as a hobby either

But if you want to pay me

Well, you just might be in business.

3 cheers for the lawyers

Hurrah for the politician

The creator, author, tinkerer?

Naught, but derision.

#104 Is a Desert Dwelling Danger

Of the dangers of the desert

One of, am I

You won’t see me coming

I move soft as a sigh

The sky grows dark

With a coming storm

You fear and you hide

Finding a small cave, you crawl inside

My sandstorm sister

Creeps into every place

She fills in your hiding spot

And covers your face

Don’t despair!

You’ll still get air

From gaps in the rock

Strategically placed

As you struggle to breathe

Surrounded by grains of sand

I’ll move in closer

I think I’ll start with your hand

I’ll chew thoughtfully

As you squirm and scream

Injecting you with my venom

To put you into a dream

It keeps you alive

Not moving

Easier to eat

I am the mighty sand worm

I think I’ll move down to your feet

#103 Watches Too Many Sad Shows

My companion

My friend

You've loved me when 

I thought nobody would

You never asked

For much in return

You always gave

More than you earned

But time moves on

The spunk left your step

You slowed down

You seldom lept

And now the time

It draws to a close

For you my friend

And I hold you close

As you rest

Upon my breast

And draw what will be

Your last few breaths

I look in your eyes

And cry my tears

And you look back 

And assuage my fears 

Then the spark

Leaves your eyes

And all that's left

Is to lay you down

In your last rest

Here lies Dog

My best friend

#102 Rides the Camel Toe Express

Putting

One foot

In front of the other

A big brown

Split-toed foot

Padding softly

Into the desert

It's the Camel Toe Express

Riding

On top of the hump

Happily

Swaying

Along

Sipping

On my

Canteen

And humming

Along

It's the Camel Toe Express

Travelling

In Caravan

Or singly

By night

It's a beat

The heat

Kind of

Lifestyle

You know

You want it

Too

It's the Camel Toe Express

Coming into

The oasis

A half hour

Past the dawn

Friends you've

Never seen before

Roll out their carpets

And invite

You in

Because

Life is a Peach

On the Camel Toe Express

#101 Has So Many Issues

Sometimes I feel super

Like I could walk through walls

Fly in the sky

Support mighty columns in the halls

Other days I feel weak

Like I couldn't even stand to crawl

My voice too small to speak

I could be crushed by the weight of a fly

It's up and it's down

A rhythm of sorts

One day a frown

The next a manic glee

My doctor says these pills should help

But I don't believe him

I think there's another motive

Perhaps chosen on a whim

I know they're watching me

I see their eyes, gotten hang-up calls

I've searched for the cameras

I've ripped holes in all my walls

My skin has started itching

At one certain spot

I've itched and I've dug

I've peered at it alot

During daylight hours

I gaze at the wood grains in my door

I follow them over and over again

It satisfies me to the core

I've seen them coming to get me

I hide under my bed when they do

I watch their ankles as they walk

Just like when I was two

As Daddy hit Mommy

And the screams filled the air

I'd lay there trying to find a happy place

Digging at my arms until I didn't care

It's dark now, nobody around

I feel the urge to trace lines on the door

I creep out from under the bed

And slide towards it on the floor

Such is my existence

Don't fucking pity me

I'm happy

Can't you see?

#100 Is a Hundred Day Project

My teacher spoke up, so all could hear,

"Class, we are coming up on

One hundred days into the school year!

Your Hundred Day projects are due tomorrow."

And I worked on it, I swear....

I had a hundred noodles

Glued to a board

But then it rained

And they dropped off of their own accord

I lined up a hundred chocolate chips

In rows two by two

Then the sun came out

And melted them to goo

Put a hundred beans in a jar

But overnight they sprouted

Carrying my bed up oh so far

And so I pouted

But not for long

For I spied gnomes

A hundred strong

All carrying sparkling combs!

I ran the other way

Reached into my pocket pulling out one hundred jacks

I threw them behind me

The gnomes tripped and fell in stacks

But the one hundred sparkling combs just kept coming

Enchantment pushing them on

Combing their way steadily towards me

I found a hole in the cloud, and was gone

Hurtling downwards at one hundred miles per hour

I spread my arms and sprouted one hundred feathers

And soared towards my hundred foot tower

Landing with toe tickling lightness

I sat down on my bed and had a think

It was almost time to go to school

To scrub myself one hundred times till pink

Gather my things and go

Still not having my project done.